February 18, 2009

It's all mixed up

It's all mixed up
I don't know what to say
All the words are jumbled
All the scenes clash

It's all mixed up
It's bad what i say
The sentences come out
Before the brain can edit out

It's all mixed up
It's so gray and confusing
Sometimes no, sometimes yes
It's a confusing seesaw

It's all mixed up
Love and hate collide
I don't know what to do
But can't get over you

It's all mixed up
Many questions are asked
All the answers crop up
But after all, it's just you

It's all mixed up
But everyday points to you
Everywhere that i go
My heart just looks for you

February 16, 2009

Difficult days

Teach me your way, O Lord
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an UNDIVIDED heart,
that i may fear your name.

Psalm 86:11

February 11, 2009

25 Random Things About Me

1. I love food - choosing, buying, eating, appreciating, obsessing over food. It makes me happy. When i eat alone and i can't talk about how good tasting something is, i never fail to whisper an exclamation or really say it out loud when nobody's around.

2. An afternoon walk/jog around the academic oval while listening to my current favorite playlist is something i look forward to.

3. I love eating out with friends and i love the conversations while at it even more. Laughter. Ideas. Grand plans. Etcetera.

4. I love my nephews unconditionally. I started to better fathom how it was to actually and really love another person unconditionally when i saw Rhys for the first time. It's the same thing with Ken. I want to hug and talk to them all day. No wonder why i can't study at home.

5. As much as it is a cliche, i love learning. I love reading about unknown things. I love the feeling of finding out about something for the first time. I marvel at the world. Solving mathematical problems excites me. I am very diligent in studying the subjects i love, which unfortunately don't account for more than 25% of law school load. I miss my business/IT days for that.

6. My lolo and papa are the most affectionate people in MY world. They loved my sister and I to death.

7. My mama was the most selfless person I know and it's amazing how she was able to show her passionate love for me without being affectionate like the men above.

8. I'll mention my ate here in this post, otherwise, she'll complain. That's ate for you, my only sibling. And again, she's slowly inching her way back to my Number 1 best friend spot. Rhys and Homer are very stiff competition. Good that she doesn't have to fight against Mama, but still, I'm not sure if she can succeed.

9. I am naturally sweet to Rhys, Ken and Homer. I don't know why. Mama said, i'm sweeter to her than my ate was; although, i believe my sister is waaay sweeter than i am.

10. I was the boy my parents never had. Papa brought me to the Baguio slaughterhouse for lunch several times. My favorite toys were a gun, a plastic knife and a yellow jeep.

11. I am a crybaby to Homer. While others see me as quite a strong person, i don't know what it is with this love that out of it came another person. Maybe, this is what they say - women still want a knight in shining armor to save them from a cruel world.

12. I once entered a kiddie beauty contest without my parents' consent.

13. Contrary to popular opinion, i'm easily distracted. I do all sorts of things at the same time. My thoughts fly to Timbuktu. I spend too much time on the internet.

14. 2009 is a very BIG year for me. So big, it sometimes puts me to sleep so i can stop thinking about it.

15. I love my different sets of friends. They mean a lot to me.

16. I have a special bias on people who showed real concern for me back in 2007, at a time when i scheduled an hour or two daily for thinking about life and crying. This was the darkest year of my life. I'm claiming that for my whole lifetime.

17. I am calm most of the time. I am sure a lot of people wondered why i didn't bawl over events in 2007.

18. I was so concerned about my looks when i was in high school. Then i lost interest.

19. I can never get enough of sweets. I'm afraid to check my blood sugar. Papa had diabetes.

20. One of my hobbies is grocery shopping. It gives me a different thrill each time.

21. I am skilled at finding quality stuff at the Baguio ukay ukay. My latest find is a 170 peso pair of Guy Laroche pumps.

22. I can sleep all day if i want to. I got this from Mama.

23. I talk to myself a lot. Out loud. To a scary level.

24. After an overload of all sorts of pocketbooks back in grade school, high school and college, i made it a life goal to read only nonfiction unless a fictional work gains so much acclaim that i feel the need to read it. I have so much to learn with only 1 life to live. (plugging intended)

25. I've committed several years ago to give my ALL to God. I'm still a work in progress but i know God will complete the work He started. My prayer is for me to be in love with God every minute for the rest of my life.

February 09, 2009

Today's Prayer

The more I seek You
The more I find You
The more I find You
The more I love You

I wanna sit at Your feet
Drink from the cup in Your hand
Lay back against You and breathe
Feel Your heartbeat

This love is so deep
It’s more than I can stand
I melt in Your peace
It’s overwhelming

The More I Seek You
Gateway Church

February 05, 2009

Something Useful

This is from the book of Joshua Harris, Not Even a Hint. I just think it's very practical when it comes to grey areas of sin.

"Whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God*, or takes off the relish of spiritual things; in short whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind - that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may be in itself."

* obscures your awareness of the ugliness of sin and the holiness of God

February 01, 2009