January 28, 2009

Heartache

i was parked in complacency
and thought everything's fine
you sounded the alarm of urgency
i woke up, decided it's time

your words were a gentle whip
they stirred my floating thoughts
the fog ahead has disappeared
you helped clear the road

sincere passion is contagious
so i bought a full tank
my new engine got roaring
and i didn't wanna stop

but then some place else
they need your power
a lot of people there
are looking for that unique fire

so in your honor
my horn, i honk
but i'll go on, i'll move on
you've done your work

goodbye to you, i bid you well
now, i'll go the other way
but i pray, may our paths cross
some time, some other day

January 23, 2009

We are sooo complicated

Think. Just think.

And you will be amazed at how your brain thinks seemingly independent from your whole body. And you feel your soul. You feel your spirit. And how they exist inside a physical body. And i feel how i think up in my head, not in my stomach, not in my foot, but here up in my head.

I think about the movement of my hands and the flow of blood carrying nutrients around my body. I think about my eyes and how they see the world and how they focus. I think about how i fall asleep. I think about my tongue and my mouth and how they can form words and speak not just one language. I think about my skin and how i feel how cold or how warm the temperature is. I think about how i ovulate and the possibility of a sperm fertilizing an egg. And how a life can possibly grow inside my womb. I think about my ears and how i hear beautiful music. I think about how i eat and how i take pleasure in tasting every salivating bite of my favorite food.

How awesome, how intelligent and how tastefully we were made, oh God.

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.

Beautiful beautiful...

Oh refuge of my hardened heart
Oh fast pursuing lover come
As angels dance around Your throne
My life by captured fare You own

Not silhouette of trodden faith
Nor death shall not my steps be guide
I'll pirouette upon my grave
For in Your path I'll run and hide

Oh gaze of love so melt my pride
That I may in Your house but kneel
And in my brokenness to cry
Spring worship unto Thee

When beauty breaks the spell of pain
The bludgeoned heart shall burst in vain
But not when love be pointed king
And truth shall Thee forever reign

Sweet Jesus carry me away
From cold of night, and dust of day
In ragged hour or salt worn eye
Be my desire, my wellspring lie

Spring worship unto Thee


Hymn
Jars of Clay

January 15, 2009

Nothing compares

to God's presence.

Nothing beats experiencing God meet you in the quietness of your spirit.


It's awesome, so awesome!

More of you Lord. More of you this year. :-)

...

Sometimes, you fall in love with something, at first sight, and you close your eyes to other choices because this one is so amazing. But the monument starts to crumble, one piece by one. And you think about other factors that you thought not important but realize later, that these other things count for something. Then you feel frustrated. But at the back of your mind, you insist on that one amazing thing that you just fell in love with, even if it costs you a leg and an arm. It's just so beautiful. But it isn't just that one thing...

January 11, 2009

How appropriate

Psalm 37 (NIV) - I only included certain verses, although this is supposed to be an acrostic poem.

1
Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong;

3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:

6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.

14 The wicked draw the sword
and bend the bow
to bring down the poor and needy,
to slay those whose ways are upright.

15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts,
and their bows will be broken.

16 Better the little that the righteous have
than the wealth of many wicked;

17 for the power of the wicked will be broken,
but the LORD upholds the righteous.

23 If the LORD delights in a man's way,
he makes his steps firm;

24 though he stumble, he will not fall,
for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright;
there is a future for the man of peace.

39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD;
he is their stronghold in time of trouble.

40 The LORD helps them and delivers them;
he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
because they take refuge in him.

January 10, 2009

Psalm 130

3 If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?
4 But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.
5 I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
6 My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

January 09, 2009

My heart's prayer for 2009

Psalm 139:4

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there's any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.


Psalm 19:14

May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
oh Lord.

January 01, 2009

It's been a while

I've been very busy playing with kids. 1 month old, 5 years, 7 years, 9 years. And they all think i'm their age. Someone thinks i will be entertained by watching Transformers with him. The other has to wear the same clothes i do (a.k.a clothes for SM or for the house or for jogging). The other thinks i go to their house to play with him. The other just stares at me and mumbles. Why are kids so cute and lovely and beautiful? They make me feel so happy.

And i've been busy working for something classified.

And i've been busy drinking coffee and dating and shopping and learning how to wear make up, just to make me look more serious and mature when i get to deal with the real world, a.k.a. banks, government offices, insurance agents and the like. Whatever.

I miss law school. Really? Hahaha. Yes, i need to convince myself, you know. I'm about to finish and if until this time, all i know is that i was forced by Mama and Papa -- i'm sure i'd be in real big trouble. I miss Sunday Service at QC.

It's the first time i've spent the New Year outside La Union and now i realize why fireworks are expensive. Viewing Baguio outside the house here is amazing (in Rhys' words). We didn't spend a single penny on sparklers nor on small firecrackers. But we spent the new year with bang bangs and sparkling lights. Loved it. I feel like a seven year old watching candies fall from the sky.

Anyway, i know 2009 is a great big year for me. I'm excited and anxious already. But i pray that God will hold me in his arms as i sashay my way to His destiny. I also pray that i'll make the right decisions and for his will to be so clear i don't have to guess.

I love God. I love Rhys. I love life. I love Ken too.

Happy new year!