November 17, 2009

Mga kailangan kong matutunan

Sa lalong madaling panahon, kailangan ko nang malaman kung paano gawin ang mga ito:

1. mamalengke

Malaman kung sariwa ang isda, baboy, baka, at kung anu-ano pa. Kung paano malalaman kung hinog na at pwede nang kainin ang prutas. Alin ang magandang talong. Ano ang mura at ano ang hindi. Marunong naman akong tumawad.

2. magluto

Pati na rin baking.

3. mag-alaga ng bata

Marunong naman ako. Ayoko lang ng mga challenging tasks like paglinis sa puwet pag tumae at magkaroon ng tiyagang maghele kung kailangan. Di bale, matagal tagal ko pa naman kailangan ito. Saka na yang mga action plans during baby tantrums.

4. maglaba nang maayos at mamalantsa na rin

5. bawasan ang tantrums

6. higit sa lahat, MAGBIGAY. EEEEKKK!

November 13, 2009

42 days til Christmas

35 days til something


wee yoo wee yoo wee yoo

October 29, 2009

Big big thing

There's a big big thing

but i can't really feel it
Some things aren't right
but i can't correct it
Or i refuse to see it

August 25, 2009

Please pray for meee

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

August 17, 2009

Another one of those palengkera episodes

I was feeling really good yesterday, after my happiness combo of Sunday Service, lunch at Conti's with my dear friends, small group, walking around the oval and dinner at Katipunan. Oh, and I was wearing my newest skirt. Never mind the need for a belt in an attempt to create an illusion of a non-existent waistline.

We were going out of this restaurant, where we had dinner, when i noticed at the enclosed area near the exit a man in dark polo, who was laughing and in the company of several people.

With this recent obsession on Ninoy Aquino, i mindlessly exclaimed for everybody to hear, "Oh my gosh, is that Noynoy Aquino?" My friends said yes.

And i stared again, frozen for a good few seconds.

I came back to my senses and we went out of the restaurant; I, fully realizing the chagrin. And he was with Mar Roxas.

Erase. Erase. Erase.

August 14, 2009

Do you still know me?

Can you close your eyes and recognize me
by just a whiff of my scent
Or by just touching me so lovingly
as though you want all my fears to go away

Do you remember looking at me so intently
while i refuse to be roused from drowsing dreams
Because you'd care to check every detail
to ensure my good night's sleep

Do you miss my wonderful stories
and my repetitive tales
Of cute and handsome boys
and my prophetic view of the future

Do you still want to be in the know
of the goings on in my crazy life
Even if you can't keep up
because your very traditional person prevents you

Are you still excited to talk about me
as though im the best in the world
Even if you know i'm so imperfect
and i have hurt you so many times

Happy birthday ma.
Please pray for me where you are.

August 07, 2009

I Love Ninoy

I've been reading about him and viewing his YouTube videos in the last few days. What an inspiring man.

August 05, 2009

Ninoy's Letter to Noynoy

Ninoy, Ninoy - I didn't know that this was how deep his love for his country was - that it even came before his love for family. What an honorable man. And he gave Noynoy a great responsibility.


August 25, 1973

Fort Bonifacio


Mr. Benigno S. Aquino III


My dearest Son:

One of these days , when you have completed your studies I am sure you will have the opportunity to visit many countries. And in your travels you will witness a bullfight.

In Spanish bullfighting as you know, a man – the matador – is pitted against an angry bull.

The man goads the bull to extreme anger and madness. Then a moment comes when the bull, maddened, bleeding and covered with darts, feeling his last moment has come, stops rushing about and grimly turns his face on the man with the scarlet "muleta" and sword. The Spaniards call this "the moment of truth." This is the climax of the bullfight.

This afternoon, I have arrived at my own moment of truth. After a lengthy conference with my lawyers, Senators Jovito R. Salonga and Lorenzo M. Tanada I made a very crucial and vital decision that will surely affect all our lives: mommie's, your sisters', yours and all our loved ones as well as mine.

I have decided not to participate in the proceedings of the Military Commission assigned to try the charges filed against me by the army prosecution staff. As you know, I've been charged with illegal possession of firearms, violation of RA 1700 otherwise known as the "Anti-Subversion Act" and murder.

You are still too young to grasp the full impact of my decision. Briefly: by not participating in the proceedings, I will not be represented by counsel, the prosecution will present its witnesses without any cross examinations, I will not put up any defense, I will remain passive and quiet through the entire trial and I will merely await the verdict. Inasmuch as it will be a completely one-sided affair, I suppose it is reasonable to expect the maximum penalty will be given to me. I expect to be sentenced to imprisonment the rest of my natural life, or possibly be sent to stand before a firing squad. By adopting the course of action I decided upon this afternoon, I have literally decided to walk into the very jaws of death.

You may ask: why did you do it?

Son, my decision is an act of conscience. It is an act of protest against the structures of injustice that have been imposed upon our hapless countrymen. Futile and puny, as it will surely appear to many, it is my last act of defiance against tyranny and dictatorship.

You are my only son. You carry my name and the name of my father. I have no material wealth to leave you. I never had time to make money while I was in the hire of our people.

For this I am very sorry. I had hopes of building a little nest egg for you. I bought a ranch in Masbate in the hope that after ten or fifteen years, the coconut trees I planted there would be yielding enough to assure you a modest but comfortable existence.

Unfortunately, I had to sell all our properties as I fought battle after political battle as a beleaguered member of the opposition. And after the last battle, I had more obligations than assets.

The only valuable asset I can bequeath to you now is the name you carry. I have tried my best during my years of public service to keep that name untarnished and respected, unmarked by sorry compromises for expediency. I now pass it on to you, as good, I pray, as when my father, your grandfather passed it on to me.

I prepared a statement which I intend to read before the military commission on Monday at the opening of my trial. I hope the commission members will be understanding and kind enough to allow me to read my statement into the record. This may well be my first and only participation in the entire proceedings.

In this statement, I said: Some people suggested that I beg for mercy from the present powers that be. Son, this I cannot do in conscience. I would rather die on my feet with honor, than live on bended knees in shame.

Your great grandfather, Gen. Servilliano Aquino was twice condemned to death by both the Spaniards and the American colonizers. Fortunately, he survived both by a twist of fate.

Your grandfather, my father was also imprisoned by the Americans because he loved his people more than the Americans who colonized us. He was finally vindicated. Our ancestors have shared the pains, the sorrows and the anguish of Mother Filipinas when she was in bondage.

It is a rare privilege for me to join the Motherland in the dark dungeon where she was led back by one of her own sons whom she lavished with love and glory.

I ended my statement thus: I have chosen to follow my conscience and accept the tyrant's revenge.

It takes little effort to stop a tyrant. I have no doubt in the ultimate victory of right over wrong, of evil over good, in the awakening of the Filipino.

Forgive me for passing unto your young shoulders the great responsibility for our family. I trust you will love your mother and your sisters and lavish them with the care and protection I would have given them.

I was barely fifteen years old when my father died. His death was my most traumatic experience. I loved and hero-worshipped him so much, I wanted to join him in his grave when he passed away. But as in all sorrows, eventually they are washed away by the rains of time.

In the coming years, I hope you will study very hard so that you will have a solid foundation on which to build your future. I may no longer be around to give you my fatherly advice. I have asked many of your uncles to help you along should the need arise and I pray you will have the humility to drink from their fountain of experiences.

Look after your two younger sisters with understanding and affection. Viel and Krissy will need your umbrella of protection for a long time. Krissy is still very young and fate has been most unkind to both of us. Our parting came too soon. Please make up for me. Take care of her as I would have taken care of her with patience and warm affection.

Finally, stand by your mother as she stood beside me through the buffeting winds of crisis and uncertainties firm and resolute and uncowed. I pray to God, you inherit her indomitable spirit and her rare brand of silent courage.

I had hopes of introducing you to my friends, showing you the world and guide you through the maze of survival. I am afraid, you will now have to go it alone without your guide.

The only advice I can give you: Live with honor and follow your conscience.

There is no greater nation on earth than our Motherland. No greater people than our own. Serve them with all your heart, with all your might and with all your strength.

Son, the ball is now in your hands.



August 04, 2009

so hard

really hard to study, while history happens.

and i didn't take a leave of absence from the human race.

August 01, 2009

Ninoy's Love Poem for Cory

I fell in love again

With the same woman the third time

Looming from the battle

Her courage will never fade

Amidst the hardships she has remained

Undaunted and unafraid

She is calm, composed

She is God’s lovely maid

July 25, 2009

Awesome and amazing

I had a great great time at the 25th anniversary celebration of Victory at the Big Dome.

1. I was again reminded of what a great privilege knowing God is.

I am soooo thankful that God enabled me to fathom how great, how deep and how unlimited his love is; of how blessed i am to know that there is overflowing grace available for me even if i do not deserve it; of how great is the plan and destiny waiting for me through Christ; of how much joy and peace there is in knowing God and having a real loving relationship with the heavenly Father.

2. My prayer is that my life will honor Him all throughout and that i fulfill my life's purpose. My prayers of having a 'clearer' vision of the future are slowly being answered. I'm excited to be used by God and I'm excited to live a life in accordance with his great will and purpose.

I love love love God. I love church. Oh, and I love my country. :-)

Blessed. Blessed. Blessed.

Great is Thy Faithfulness.

July 18, 2009

Remarks from CBS Sunday Morning - Ben Stein

I Only hope we find GOD again before it is too late ! !

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it
. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Hurricane Katrina).. Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives.. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide).. We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves..

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

June 26, 2009

Is it true the King of Pop died?

by Michael Jackson.

michael jackson, lyrics, history Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for the world that I
Come from
'Cause I've been looking around
In the lost and found of my heart...
No one understands me
They view it as such strange eccentricities...
'Cause I keep kidding around
Like a child, but pardon me...
People say I'm not okay
'Cause I love such elementary things...
It's been my fate to compensate, for the
I've never known...

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like pirates and adventurous dreams,
Of conquest and kings on the throne...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?

People say I'm strange that way
'Cause I love such elementary things,
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood I've never known...

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like fantastical stories to share
The dreams I would dare, watch me fly...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me.
The painful youth I've had

Have you seen my Childhood.

June 18, 2009


Here's a chance to see how well you really know your husband, wife, fiancé, boyfriend or girlfriend. Cut, paste and fill in the answers, then tag your friends... Shoot, you know what to do. The real challenge is to send it to your loved one to see how right you really are.

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
NatGeo, Discovery, Lifestyle Network (cooking shows) Simpsons, Friends, comedy series

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
the most uncommon one

3. What's one food he doesn't like?
anything that has pineapple

4. You go out to eat. What drink does he order?
iced tea usually

5. Where did he go to high school?
same as mine, then UB

6. What shoe size does he wear?
9 or 10

7. If he were to collect anything, what would it be?
he collects tools and gadgets

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?

9. What would he eat every day if he could?
porterhouse steak

10. What is his favorite cereal?
not really into cereals

11. What would he never wear?
feminine looking clothes

12. What is his favorite sports team?
himself. hahaha.

13. Who did he vote for President?
he has never voted

14. Who is his best friend?
who else but myself :-)

15. What is one thing he wishes you wouldn't do?
nag at maging palengkera

16. What is his heritage?
half Tagalog, half from Cagayan (Isneg?)

17. You baked him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?
something not so sweet

18. Did he play sports in high school?
they played basketball, but not seriously. are video games considered?

19. What could he spend hours doing?
TV, computer, outdoor adventure

20. What is one unique talent he has?
see through me. hehehe.

Part 2

What are your middle names?
Mine - Manongdo
His - Cayaba

How long have you been together?
8 years 6 months

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
8 years, but not close

Who asked to go out, first?
siya siyempre

How old are each of you?
both 28 kaya palaaway

Whose siblings do you see the most?
pareho lang

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
maybe when mama died

Did you go to the same school?
high school

Are you from the same home town?

Who is smarter?
he has much better common sense
im more intelligent

Who is the most sensitive?
me, hands down

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Sizzling Plate, Session Road, Baguio

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Tuguegarao, Cagayan

Who has the craziest exes?
siya, i don't have exes

Who has the worst temper?
pareho lang

Who does the cooking?
siya :-) he's a very good cook.

Who is the neat-freak?
me, at this rate

Who is more stubborn?
he is! from my point of view

Who wakes up earlier?

Who is more jealous?
i am

How long did it take to get serious?
a year and a half

Who eats more?

Who does the laundry?
in the future, i think i will or the maid. he is too lazy to separate whites from the colored.

Who’s better with the computer?
siya sa hardware. ako sa software.

Who drives when you are together?
siya. i have a "fake" driver's license.

May 16, 2009

Simple joys

Gel Pens at P9 each and a permanent marker at P10.

Free Krispy Kreme donut and coffee!

May 10, 2009

Obssessing over nice things

1. Hossana

The song from Hillsong United as interpreted by the Victory QC worship team. Galing! I fell in love with this worship song a while ago. Glorious. I've been playing it over and over and over. Thanks for the mp3 file, Kate. :-)

2. The pictures above

I've been constantly looking at them since 11am. Sana bordabee was there so that it'd be complete. I love, love, love my family and our nice pictures. Hehe.

3. Goldilocks' egg pie

4. Sundays

I love church, Sunday service, praise and worship, prayer, delicious lunch and cake, UP walks, friends, good company and rest. Sa mga wala, come on now. :-)

From "You're a Good Man Charlie Brown"




Another one of those

1. What's your ID number?

2. Passed or wait-listed?

3. How did you know about the ACET results?
i got an acceptance letter.

4. Was Ateneo your first choice?
i didn't really have preferences. my basis was the course. had a really good description in the brochure.

5. Do you know what your ACET score is?
i don't even know they give that too

6. What course was your first choice?

7. Second choice?

8. Anong course mo ngayon?
graduated from my first choice

9. Did you have any plans of shifting?
wala. okay naman ang block ko (as if it's the only consideration).

10. Chinito/chinita ka ba?

11. Taga-Ateneo High?
hindi rin

12. Did you have fun in your OrSem?
no, i was soooo homesick then.

13. Saang gate ka pumasok nung first day?
gate 3. my dorm was behind shell.

14. Are you staying/did you stay in a dorm?
yes, see above.

15. Ever had an F in your grade report?

16. How about an A?

17. Highest grade?

18. Lowest grade?

19. Worst experience in ADMU?
my email account was hacked. and someone actually believed i was the one who sent a really foul message. the second statement is much worse.

20. Do you always attend class?
generally, if i had no plans to go home to La Union.

21. What are/were your orgs?
Gabay, MISA, Loyola Film Circle

22. How many units have/did you pass/ed?
what was required. we had summer classes too!

23. Nangangarap/nangarap ka bang maglaude?
parang hindi. bakit ako ganon? abnormal.

24. When will/did you graduate?

25. Fave subject?
theology of marriage, contemporary theology, Philippine history, philosophy, Java :-), marketing, management, chemistry, judo, rhetoric, psychology, essay, film theory, fiction -- OO. REALLY A NERD.

26. Worst subject/s?
foundations of PE, theology of church/sacraments, taxation and agrarian reform

27. Fave landmark sa ADMU?
Gabay room? kasi maraming kausap at kaibigan don.

28. Fave kainan?
Manang's, i should go there soon.

29. How do/did you get to school?

30. Are/were you always at the lib?
yes, sa Filipiniana section. I liked it there. Hehe. See number 25.

31. Ever gone to the infirmary when you were sick?
oo rin. dysmenorrhea. thank you friends for being of great great help.

32. Do/did you have a crush in campus?
oo naman. i can name them but choose not to.

33. May balak kang mag-MS, PhD?
not in the near future. i have better, more exciting plans, you know.

34. Have you ever watched a graduation ceremony?
my own lang.

35. Do you know the "Song for Mary" by heart?
no, although i feel like crying everytime it's sung.

36. Memorize mo ba ang Fabilioh?

37. ...ang Halikinu?
yup. favorite ko to.

38. ...ang Blue Eagle Spelling?
oo naman. sfelling lang yan e.

39. Are you part of Team Ateneo?
ano ba to?

40. Who's your fave UAAP basketball player?
Pastor LA, hehe.

41. Ever had a perfect score in an exam?
di ko maalala, parang meron.

42. Ano ang ayaw mo sa Hell Week?
lack of sleep. i hate not having 8 hours each day.

43. Dito ka ba natuto uminom ng beer?
no. i don't like beer.

44. What do you like about our school?
my friends, my orgmates, the mini forests, the lack of a GC culture (bakit kaya), the holistic education (naks, oo, sold ako sa idea), it's clean, maganda ang search system sa lib

45. Ano ang ayaw mo?
higad, mga pasosyal

46. Have you ever bought anything at the A-shop?
oo, si mama, feeling Atenista

47. Maganda ba ID pic mo?
not satisfactory. oiliness.

48. Done anything illegal on campus?

49. Bought anything at National Katips?
oo, suki.

50. Ever gone to Starbucks Katips?

51. May nakaaway ka na ba sa school?
wala naman (as far as i can remember)

52. QPI?

Yikes. I really miss undergrad. Can we do it again? I feel really old all of a sudden.

April 13, 2009


Please help me Lord.

Happy Birthday Rhys!

March 24, 2009


Gusto ko tumumbling!

March 16, 2009

Excited to go Home

March 14, 2009

Hi mama and papa

I miss you so much.

And i do not feel like attending graduation without you. But, we'll see.

March 09, 2009


Maganda pala ang pakiramdam kapag nalalampasan mo na ang ibang taong tumatakbo at napapansin mong hindi ka na rin nila naaabutan. Masaya rin na ang mga nakikita mong nauuna sa yo e mga lalaki na lang na alam mong di hamak na mas mataas ang 'endurance' kesa sa yo.

I love it.

March 06, 2009


I have just gotten a refill of endorphins after one quick round at the acad oval but the news of Francis M.'s passing away drenches them nevertheless.

I admired him for his talent and his unending youth. I've read his blog in the past year and I am happy to see him cling to God in his time of pain and trial.

God bless his loved ones.

March 03, 2009

The Day I Flared Up

Sorry Lord.

Once upon a time, i caught the Tawag 236 bug. 20 pesos for a 20 minute call. After 20 minutes, the caller will be charged a peso for each minute in excess. Why not, right?

Unfortunately, since January 1, i was being duped into using this too good to be true promo, not knowing that since that date they were charging regular rates after the first 20 minutes already. Of course, i wouldn't know. Is a subscriber now required to look at Globe ads and see the very small font that they allegedly used in informing the public of the change in the promo mechanics?

I was so pissed. Prepaid subscribers get cut after 20 minutes. Postpaid subscribers don't. How convenient! Of course, no one would want to not get cut after 20 minutes if the postpaid subscriber knew what's up with the call charges!

Roar. Why penalize subscribers who are willing to pay a fixed amount per month? Isn't it just to entice people to use a supposedly cheaper call but then because it's so nice to talk and talk, people don't keep track of time and in the end spend thousands on their monthly bill.

I am so disgusted and angry and aghast at how profit oriented a company i appreciated through the years has become. I am but a single customer. But i hope Globe would be more customer oriented than this Tawag236 hullabaloo shows it to be. Customers give Globe profit. They shouldn't deceive customers into falling into a trap like this.

And of course, i was stupid too.

I hate this thing. Argh!

Calling on Globe Telecoms. The business of a company is in its customers. The heart of marketing is in consumers. Show me that these nice things do not only exist in my own ideal world.

Please love your loyal customers over profit.

February 18, 2009

It's all mixed up

It's all mixed up
I don't know what to say
All the words are jumbled
All the scenes clash

It's all mixed up
It's bad what i say
The sentences come out
Before the brain can edit out

It's all mixed up
It's so gray and confusing
Sometimes no, sometimes yes
It's a confusing seesaw

It's all mixed up
Love and hate collide
I don't know what to do
But can't get over you

It's all mixed up
Many questions are asked
All the answers crop up
But after all, it's just you

It's all mixed up
But everyday points to you
Everywhere that i go
My heart just looks for you

February 16, 2009

Difficult days

Teach me your way, O Lord
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an UNDIVIDED heart,
that i may fear your name.

Psalm 86:11

February 11, 2009

25 Random Things About Me

1. I love food - choosing, buying, eating, appreciating, obsessing over food. It makes me happy. When i eat alone and i can't talk about how good tasting something is, i never fail to whisper an exclamation or really say it out loud when nobody's around.

2. An afternoon walk/jog around the academic oval while listening to my current favorite playlist is something i look forward to.

3. I love eating out with friends and i love the conversations while at it even more. Laughter. Ideas. Grand plans. Etcetera.

4. I love my nephews unconditionally. I started to better fathom how it was to actually and really love another person unconditionally when i saw Rhys for the first time. It's the same thing with Ken. I want to hug and talk to them all day. No wonder why i can't study at home.

5. As much as it is a cliche, i love learning. I love reading about unknown things. I love the feeling of finding out about something for the first time. I marvel at the world. Solving mathematical problems excites me. I am very diligent in studying the subjects i love, which unfortunately don't account for more than 25% of law school load. I miss my business/IT days for that.

6. My lolo and papa are the most affectionate people in MY world. They loved my sister and I to death.

7. My mama was the most selfless person I know and it's amazing how she was able to show her passionate love for me without being affectionate like the men above.

8. I'll mention my ate here in this post, otherwise, she'll complain. That's ate for you, my only sibling. And again, she's slowly inching her way back to my Number 1 best friend spot. Rhys and Homer are very stiff competition. Good that she doesn't have to fight against Mama, but still, I'm not sure if she can succeed.

9. I am naturally sweet to Rhys, Ken and Homer. I don't know why. Mama said, i'm sweeter to her than my ate was; although, i believe my sister is waaay sweeter than i am.

10. I was the boy my parents never had. Papa brought me to the Baguio slaughterhouse for lunch several times. My favorite toys were a gun, a plastic knife and a yellow jeep.

11. I am a crybaby to Homer. While others see me as quite a strong person, i don't know what it is with this love that out of it came another person. Maybe, this is what they say - women still want a knight in shining armor to save them from a cruel world.

12. I once entered a kiddie beauty contest without my parents' consent.

13. Contrary to popular opinion, i'm easily distracted. I do all sorts of things at the same time. My thoughts fly to Timbuktu. I spend too much time on the internet.

14. 2009 is a very BIG year for me. So big, it sometimes puts me to sleep so i can stop thinking about it.

15. I love my different sets of friends. They mean a lot to me.

16. I have a special bias on people who showed real concern for me back in 2007, at a time when i scheduled an hour or two daily for thinking about life and crying. This was the darkest year of my life. I'm claiming that for my whole lifetime.

17. I am calm most of the time. I am sure a lot of people wondered why i didn't bawl over events in 2007.

18. I was so concerned about my looks when i was in high school. Then i lost interest.

19. I can never get enough of sweets. I'm afraid to check my blood sugar. Papa had diabetes.

20. One of my hobbies is grocery shopping. It gives me a different thrill each time.

21. I am skilled at finding quality stuff at the Baguio ukay ukay. My latest find is a 170 peso pair of Guy Laroche pumps.

22. I can sleep all day if i want to. I got this from Mama.

23. I talk to myself a lot. Out loud. To a scary level.

24. After an overload of all sorts of pocketbooks back in grade school, high school and college, i made it a life goal to read only nonfiction unless a fictional work gains so much acclaim that i feel the need to read it. I have so much to learn with only 1 life to live. (plugging intended)

25. I've committed several years ago to give my ALL to God. I'm still a work in progress but i know God will complete the work He started. My prayer is for me to be in love with God every minute for the rest of my life.

February 09, 2009

Today's Prayer

The more I seek You
The more I find You
The more I find You
The more I love You

I wanna sit at Your feet
Drink from the cup in Your hand
Lay back against You and breathe
Feel Your heartbeat

This love is so deep
It’s more than I can stand
I melt in Your peace
It’s overwhelming

The More I Seek You
Gateway Church

February 05, 2009

Something Useful

This is from the book of Joshua Harris, Not Even a Hint. I just think it's very practical when it comes to grey areas of sin.

"Whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God*, or takes off the relish of spiritual things; in short whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind - that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may be in itself."

* obscures your awareness of the ugliness of sin and the holiness of God

February 01, 2009

January 28, 2009


i was parked in complacency
and thought everything's fine
you sounded the alarm of urgency
i woke up, decided it's time

your words were a gentle whip
they stirred my floating thoughts
the fog ahead has disappeared
you helped clear the road

sincere passion is contagious
so i bought a full tank
my new engine got roaring
and i didn't wanna stop

but then some place else
they need your power
a lot of people there
are looking for that unique fire

so in your honor
my horn, i honk
but i'll go on, i'll move on
you've done your work

goodbye to you, i bid you well
now, i'll go the other way
but i pray, may our paths cross
some time, some other day

January 23, 2009

We are sooo complicated

Think. Just think.

And you will be amazed at how your brain thinks seemingly independent from your whole body. And you feel your soul. You feel your spirit. And how they exist inside a physical body. And i feel how i think up in my head, not in my stomach, not in my foot, but here up in my head.

I think about the movement of my hands and the flow of blood carrying nutrients around my body. I think about my eyes and how they see the world and how they focus. I think about how i fall asleep. I think about my tongue and my mouth and how they can form words and speak not just one language. I think about my skin and how i feel how cold or how warm the temperature is. I think about how i ovulate and the possibility of a sperm fertilizing an egg. And how a life can possibly grow inside my womb. I think about my ears and how i hear beautiful music. I think about how i eat and how i take pleasure in tasting every salivating bite of my favorite food.

How awesome, how intelligent and how tastefully we were made, oh God.

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.

Beautiful beautiful...

Oh refuge of my hardened heart
Oh fast pursuing lover come
As angels dance around Your throne
My life by captured fare You own

Not silhouette of trodden faith
Nor death shall not my steps be guide
I'll pirouette upon my grave
For in Your path I'll run and hide

Oh gaze of love so melt my pride
That I may in Your house but kneel
And in my brokenness to cry
Spring worship unto Thee

When beauty breaks the spell of pain
The bludgeoned heart shall burst in vain
But not when love be pointed king
And truth shall Thee forever reign

Sweet Jesus carry me away
From cold of night, and dust of day
In ragged hour or salt worn eye
Be my desire, my wellspring lie

Spring worship unto Thee

Jars of Clay

January 15, 2009

Nothing compares

to God's presence.

Nothing beats experiencing God meet you in the quietness of your spirit.

It's awesome, so awesome!

More of you Lord. More of you this year. :-)


Sometimes, you fall in love with something, at first sight, and you close your eyes to other choices because this one is so amazing. But the monument starts to crumble, one piece by one. And you think about other factors that you thought not important but realize later, that these other things count for something. Then you feel frustrated. But at the back of your mind, you insist on that one amazing thing that you just fell in love with, even if it costs you a leg and an arm. It's just so beautiful. But it isn't just that one thing...

January 11, 2009

How appropriate

Psalm 37 (NIV) - I only included certain verses, although this is supposed to be an acrostic poem.

Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong;

3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:

6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.

14 The wicked draw the sword
and bend the bow
to bring down the poor and needy,
to slay those whose ways are upright.

15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts,
and their bows will be broken.

16 Better the little that the righteous have
than the wealth of many wicked;

17 for the power of the wicked will be broken,
but the LORD upholds the righteous.

23 If the LORD delights in a man's way,
he makes his steps firm;

24 though he stumble, he will not fall,
for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright;
there is a future for the man of peace.

39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD;
he is their stronghold in time of trouble.

40 The LORD helps them and delivers them;
he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
because they take refuge in him.

January 10, 2009

Psalm 130

3 If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?
4 But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.
5 I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
6 My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

January 09, 2009

My heart's prayer for 2009

Psalm 139:4

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there's any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 19:14

May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
oh Lord.

January 01, 2009

It's been a while

I've been very busy playing with kids. 1 month old, 5 years, 7 years, 9 years. And they all think i'm their age. Someone thinks i will be entertained by watching Transformers with him. The other has to wear the same clothes i do (a.k.a clothes for SM or for the house or for jogging). The other thinks i go to their house to play with him. The other just stares at me and mumbles. Why are kids so cute and lovely and beautiful? They make me feel so happy.

And i've been busy working for something classified.

And i've been busy drinking coffee and dating and shopping and learning how to wear make up, just to make me look more serious and mature when i get to deal with the real world, a.k.a. banks, government offices, insurance agents and the like. Whatever.

I miss law school. Really? Hahaha. Yes, i need to convince myself, you know. I'm about to finish and if until this time, all i know is that i was forced by Mama and Papa -- i'm sure i'd be in real big trouble. I miss Sunday Service at QC.

It's the first time i've spent the New Year outside La Union and now i realize why fireworks are expensive. Viewing Baguio outside the house here is amazing (in Rhys' words). We didn't spend a single penny on sparklers nor on small firecrackers. But we spent the new year with bang bangs and sparkling lights. Loved it. I feel like a seven year old watching candies fall from the sky.

Anyway, i know 2009 is a great big year for me. I'm excited and anxious already. But i pray that God will hold me in his arms as i sashay my way to His destiny. I also pray that i'll make the right decisions and for his will to be so clear i don't have to guess.

I love God. I love Rhys. I love life. I love Ken too.

Happy new year!