September 21, 2007

He killed her

I know most of you will tell me that he does not deserve to be posted in my blog. What, that it's atrocious. I myself want to delete him from my memory forever. Of course, i don't want to remember his face. I don't even want to know that he exists. I want to forget everything about him.

But guess what, i need to pray for him, the person who shot my mother. Itago natin siya sa pangalang Rogelio. (And i blurred his facial profile if you noticed.) He is the man who, at close range, fired a gun lodging a .45 caliber bullet in my mom's brain causing her instant death.

Yes you may say that. I know. I studied it. Innocent unless proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt. But please indulge this orphan.

Last August 6, several of our neighbors saw him approach my mom in front of our house. He took a gun from his waist. My mom gave a shout, covered her face with a green file bag. Then came the shot, which went through the bag, then through her chin, then to her brain. This man made a phone call to an unknown person and rushed south. The bullet was recovered from her head in the autopsy. He was captured a couple of hours later.

Yes, i'm telling you the story. This is the story that i don't want to recount. The story that kept me from telling my friends what happened. It's because i don't want to explain. I don't want to remember.

I saw this man August 7, the day after he killed mama. My sister and i saw him, sitting on a monoblock chair inside his small jail cell. His head was bowed.

Of course, we immediately asked him why. He told us he wanted to get her bag, that was why. So we told him he didn't get the bag. It was so easy to get a dead person's bag. So why. He couldn't explain it. I asked him if that was how he robbed people. Jog along the highway in a barrio with a gun with him. Spot a woman with a bag. Approach her. Shoot her. Then run away. Robbery 101. He couldn't explain it.

You know, no, he never ever heard bad words coming from us. Never. We were calm. We only asked questions. We even prayed for him, lengthily. For God to enlighten his mind. For the truth to come out. For love, for forgiveness.
You see, God helps those in need. He is in need. We are in need. So we need prayer.

Later on, I saw him wipe his tears with his orange shirt while we were praying.

Immediately after the prayer, he knelt down, still wiping his tears. "Agpakawanak manang. Madi diay inaramid ko. Agpakpakawanak."

Translate: Forgive me. What i did was wrong. Forgive me.

Yes, Rogelio, we forgive you. But you have to face the consequences too.
From the start, we prayed so hard for love already, to be able to forgive, to be able to forget. Now, I am angry, yes. But i don't hate him.

God said, it is His to avenge. God said that we should not repay evil with evil but with blessing. That's hard you know. Obviously.

But I am sure God was at work at that time even now. I couldn't have asked my sister that we pray for the man whom we should abhor if it weren't for His grace.

I have faith that God is at work.

So please pray with us. This man has a private lawyer representing him. It's ironic isn't it, that the man who was supposed to rob my mom, surprisingly, can afford a private lawyer.

For us, nobody wants to take the case.

Simply two things. It is either they have kids and they don't want to die yet OR the case is too politicized they don't want to be used.

And where does that leave us? Well, there's no private prosecutor yet, until now. So, we are praying for grace and protection for the fiscal/s assigned to the case.

Please pray that Rogelio, by some miracle, will tell the whole truth and bring justice to my mom's senseless death.

Please pray for a fair trial. Please pray for the truth to come out. Please pray that the person/s responsible for her death will be held liable.

Please pray for a speedy trial. Please pray for the protection of the witnesses. Please pray for the impartiality of all the persons who are involved.

Please pray for our family's protection.
Earlier this year, after unknown men in motorcycles fired shots at our house last May 14, my mom ordered me and my sister to go out of Bauang at once. We did. But we went home in a couple of days. We wanted to accompany her.

You know what she said, she said 'who will be left to fight for us, if the three of us will all die.' We were able to convince her that my sis and my life are not in danger. That is why we wanted to be there. If we abandoned the house then it is so much easier to target her when she goes home, even with close in security.

At some point, when all the lawyers didn't want to take our case, we were so dismayed. We wanted to leave things to take their own course. But our mom told us, the one who survives must fight. But somehow, we are left so helpless. As simple as getting a private lawyer is so elusive.

But I am God's child. We are fighting our battle in the spiritual realm now. I know He knows and sees what is happening. I know my Mom is happy where she is.

I was talking to a friend earlier and i was telling her that my only regret is that my mom was not able to wait for the time when she does not have to work, when all she'll think about is herself, her hobbies, her leisure.

She told me, she is already a Dona where she is. And it is true. Nothing, nothing not even all the world's riches will compare to what awaits us in heaven. To be there with our creator is the best thing that can ever happen to someone, in fact, it is that one great hope that all Christians look forward to. Precious in the eyes of God is the death of His saints.

So i am praying for God's will. God is a God of justice. Please stand with us in prayer.

Thank you dear friends.

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