December 30, 2007

I Love You Goodbye

Wish I could be the one
The one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish I could say to you
That I'll always stay with you
But baby that's not me

You need someone
willing to give their heart
and soul to you
Promise you forever,
baby that's something I can't do
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a lie

I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

I hope someday you can
Find some way to understand
I'm only doing this for you
I don't really wanna go
But deep in my heart I know
this is the kindest thing to do

You'll find someone
who'll be the one that I could never be
Who'll give you something better
Than the love you'll find with me
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a crime

I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you

Oh I don't wanna leave you
Baby it tears me up inside
But I'll never be the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Baby, its never ganna work out
I love you, goodbye

December 23, 2007

Merry Christmas!

Pano ba magpasko ang isang ulila
Sa tingin ko naman ay masaya
Dala ang ala ala
Ng aking ama at ina
Haharapin ko ang lamig ng gabi
At sariwang simoy
Ng malulutong na halakhak
At maliligayang kanta

Pano ba magpasko ang isang ulila
Sa tingin ko ay maganda
Kasama kahit mapait na luha
Ng matinding pangungulila
Na nagpapatunay
Na walang kapantay
Ang pagmamahal na nakuha
Noong sila ay buhay pa

Para kay mama at papa

December 09, 2007

In retrospect

I expected this year to be a blast. At the start of the year, i was part of a small group (VCF) and I told everyone that 2007 is my year without batting an eyelash.

Irony of all ironies, it turned out to be the worst year ever. Problem after problem after problem emerged. Looking back, i never would have expected to survive each. I thank God i am still alive and still able to enjoy life and laugh and love and forgive.

Of course, it is difficult. Until now, i am still quite depressed after receiving news about my latest problem. (Please pray for my lola, by the way, she will be operated on this week, probably Thursday to remove a tumor in her stomach. I am praying that it's not cancerous.)

I also am very disappointed with several people whom i considered very close friends who all seem to be fair weather friends anyway. Im referring to those who i expected more from, especially those who knew my Mom personally.

Homer always says that i shouldn't expect them to check on me as some sort of obligation but well it is just to hard to accept it. On the other hand, some people text me really good messages but when i need encouragement or when there's opportunity to show me support, they just are not there. Some even drive me more to the pits of depression. Well, i hope to be totally over that soon enough. I just want to let it out.

I just made a commitment earlier to look beyond my situation and put my hope in Christ. I am releasing all the burdens of this human life and accepting God's sovereignty and my inheritance from my Father in heaven.

2008 will be better. I'm back.

By special request


Bring it on

Di pa tapos yung isa, eto na naman.

November 29, 2007

Baguio weekend

Veniz grill

Fishy


Visit La Azotea at Session Road, Baguio.

Brrr...

Love ko to

Masaya ang buhay


Kahit magulo ang buhok.


November 25, 2007

Drown me

Why not let each gulp of water
scrape the soreness little by little
so i don't have to think
that i'll have to go to that place
where they'll ask me what's wrong
because i've been so used already
to having you answer those questions
since you know and you care more about me
than i do myself.

I hate the feeling of my throat before coughing sets in.

November 21, 2007

Crush ko to


November 20, 2007

Weddings make me happy




Pictures from Kuya Romy and Lot's wedding at Fernwood

November 18, 2007

Success

is often the result
of taking a misstep
in the right direction.

November 14, 2007

Dear Mama and Papa

I miss you both. I hope you're holding hands in heaven while looking at me brave the world without my wonderful parents. I know i was lucky to have felt the love and overflowing concern of great parents other people have not experienced. I'm still standing anyway and carefully placing each little step on the rocky ground. My eyes don't wanna look ahead, just yet. I'm still looking for those silly pebbles.

I love you.

Love,
Rianne

November 13, 2007

Weesy weesy



I miss the little boy who calls me by my first name.

October 25, 2007

Bakasyon

So, i'm getting used to living in Baguio. And as Homer and my sis always say, i need to get used to the place - be familiar with the roads, be familiar with the already very few buildings, and more importantly, learn to take a bath regularly. Haha. Don't worry, i do at least once okay.

And of course, yeah, i know, i've been going here since college but i still get lost each time! Blame it on the weather. Eh.

I love ukay ukay. I love cafe veniz and their bitter Sagada brew. I love Session Road. I love walking there amidst lots and lots of people but feeling invisible and unnoticed. I love not needing to apply an anti perspirant. And i love what the cold weather does to my unruly hair.

I love seeing school children in boarding school uniforms. I love seeing fruits and flowers and smiling faces. I love walking without worrying how my back gets so wet. I love being out in the middle of the day without worrying about the heat.

But i miss La Union. And i miss mama.

Punyeta.

October 18, 2007

And the sem ends

though there is one more exam left tomorrow and i am still in page 107 of 207 of the reviewer with less than 24 hours to go.

I got accepted at the Sanggumay Residence Hall, and next sem i'll be a real 'dormer'. So i'll see how i fare in trying to poo where others can hear that slight plop or that shameless fart.

Oh, and how i'll pack! I've got too much stuff and i don't know where to put them. I'm thinking of selling everything i can't bring to the dorm but i always decide not to because almost everything reminds me of mama. And i'll hold on to them as long as i could.

I'm looking forward to the sem break. Yeah, right. Where i'll face the reality of a mature life. I don't even wanna go to La Union, but i need to. My sis and i need the moolah from these government agencies. I hope i don't worsen the stress i'm already feeling. And yeah, i gotta face the lawyers. 'Uhm, hi, im a law student, can i help you?' Ugh.

And my precious laptop has a vertical line of dead or maybe stuck pixels! I hope it doesn't worsen. An LCD replacement costs at least 9500. I blame myself for resting my feet (by mistake naman, akala ko yung mesa) on it occasionally.

And i hate the thought of travelling by bus alone. And passing by EDSA where i'll see Kabayan Hotel (where i would probably be just right now had Mr. X not fired a gun at an innocent person). Or the Luisita Mall, where mama and i stop for dinner or coffee. Or Carmen, where she'll take a CR break.

I wanna go to Apayao too and eat fresh steamed crabs and relax a bit. But i hate to travel alone too, unless i'd be able to ride with Homer's Uncle.

And i hate the thought of November 1, when i'll go to this small rectangular gazeebo of bougainvilleas towering over the place where both of my parents were buried. If mama were alive, she'd be one of the last people to leave the cemetery, to remember papa.

Now, its our turn.

I hate pain and i hate the longing.

But i know, i'll get by. I will get by.

I wonder when i'll ever finish a blog post on a happy note. I thought i started cheerfully already.

October 16, 2007

Remembering

She was a very beautiful barrio lass from San Cornelio, Caba, La Union, very simple in her ways. She excelled in school, elementary years in San Cornelio, high school at San Gregorio. Her teachers to this day, say it all the time. At a young age, her family went through quite a few storms - marital, financial. At one time her mom and siblings had to go to Pangasinan and she studied there for a while.

You’d say she was an ordinary teenager, who regularly went to dances around town. She says a lot of guys courted her, both in La Union and in Pangasinan. She was once crowned Miss San Cornelio even. She was very sexy. You can look at her black and white studio pictures and conclude that she was indeed a looker.

She entered government service as a casual employee at the municipal hall in Caba at such a young age, 18 years. Some of you might know about the running anecdote on the question regarding her adolescence when the Mayor thought she had no business working there and asked if she already had pubic hair. At work, she found a man eight years her senior. She fell in love, and got married at 23 in the year 1977. She gave birth in the same year and had another daughter in 1980. Not contented with her secretarial course because her father believed that women will marry anyway, she worked her way towards a college degree, juggling both an 8 to 5 job at the La Union provincial capitol and her studies at the Union Christian College, while standing with her husband in raising their two girls.

She was a very loving daughter. She supported her mother, Marcelina and father, Rico up to her last breath. She never forgot to see to their needs, providing and wanting them to be in their best health at all times. She helped her siblings when she could, sent several of his nephews to school. She wanted everyone close to her to succeed, sending some relatives to school or offering her house to stay in and giving everything that she can for free. She worked hard so that she can provide things that she is able to give. She was generous to a fault.

She was a very cheerful person. She’d go around the municipal hall, drinking coffee with her friends. They'd have sessions of 'viewing' in the balcony. She initiated jamming sessions with them. They’d go bowling and yes, ballroom dancing. She loved dancing so much. It was her therapy. She claims her bones ache whenever she misses the ballroom.

She loved eating too. She’d be hungry right after she arrives in the office. Will crave for food every couple of hours and go around looking for people to eat or drink with. When ordering in a restaurant, she’d order a feast even if she had just said that she had no money a few seconds ago. She was not good in the kitchen but was very choosy in terms of food. As for her family, they’d eat out a lot. She frequented the Chinese restaurants in San Fernando.

She loved clothes and shoes and bags with numerous compartments. Amongst her and her two daughters, she’d have the most number of bags, most number of shoes and clothes, even accessories. She’d have the most activities – dancing, sports, organizations. But for those who knew her, she really loved to sleep too. She could sleep anywhere even while sitting down. When she took masteral studies, her classmates just see her lying down sleeping, yes, right ON the table while they were busy studying.

She was a very good wife to her husband, Alfonso. She understood him and stood with him in both good and bad times. Her colleagues at work would know the lengths she took in being the most supportive wife a husband could ever wish for. She cared about his health, cared about his needs, fought for him and loved him for who he was.
She was very very strong.

Her husband passed away in 1998 and she managed so well to be both mother and father to her children. She was such a good provider. She never showed depression nor helplessness after her loss. For her, it seemed like there were no problems at all even if everyone knew she was facing a lot.

In the office, she had weird working hours. She claimed to not function properly during office hours, with people going in and out of her office each time. She made up for it anyway, by staying very late in her office usually until 9 in the evening to as late as 11. She went to her office almost always daily, including Saturdays and Sundays.

She was a woman of integrity, she worked hard, made loans to send her children to school, to pay for the hospital bills of relatives, to help her loved ones in need. She never took opportunities to enrich herself because she knew it would backfire in the future. She was very forgiving, always telling her daughters – ‘Ni Apo Diyos latta ti makaammon, nakkong. Adu ti kasukat na dagita. Babaamon.’ And her daughters always told her, ‘ma, agreact ka met a. apay baybay am gamin nga aramiden da diyay.’

She didn’t know how to fight. For instance, once in Mister Donut, she ordered a sandwich and when she took a bite, it was already spoiled. So she took it back, gave it to the cashier, and told her ‘Ni, isublikon datoy. Nadadael met.’ And her daughters asked her later if she took her money back, and she said ‘Haan, insublikon a, marurodak’.

She was never ever vindictive. Her daughters always wanted to volunteer to fight for her if someone becomes abusive or goes out of the line and she always refuses.

Why did she have to go? Why did the world have to lose her?

This woman was a very compassionate, very understanding, very good natured person so why would a man take her life with a single bullet?

It is very hard to understand. This respectable person is my mom and in the casket, her face can't even be recognized. She didn't deserve a violent death. Her likes merited a death that happens with deep sigh in her sleep. That was how papa left us. I would have wanted her life to end that way too.

As her child, my finite mind cant comprehend why this had to happen. But mama always told me to leave everything to God. And so i'm leaving everything to God.

Her name anyway is Felicidad. Felicidad means Happiness.

I wish i had her strength. Right now, I cant even imagine being half the person that mama was.

I know she is already in that beautiful mountain called Zion, the beautiful city of God. I know that the cause of her death is her righteousness in doing what is right before God’s eyes.

Psalms 116:15 says… Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.

Mama will not be there with us, to see me graduate, nor see me get married and have my own children. She may not be there to help me move on but i know that a major part of who i am was because of her.

I cannot explain the longing i feel. I feel a gaping hole in my chest or that there's a vacuum inside. I miss her so much.

It sears. The pain just won't go away.

How do you cope with grief? What's the easiest way to deal with pain? Maybe it is to think that her death has relieved her from all these worldly shit and pain. Anyway, she's in the best place any person would want to be in.

But the easiest way still seems so unreachable.

When i am alone, i always see her face. I can almost feel her hand with mine. I can play her voice calling my name over and over and all i can do is cry and wish that I meet her soon too. But that ain't right.

When will this end? Maybe never.

Until i meet her again.

October 10, 2007

What i learned so far

June - What we see depends mainly on what we look for
So, if you look for problems, you will find them.


July - ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there
That's why you need to discipline yourself if you want to win.

August - don't ask for an easier life, ask to be a stronger person
And tell your Father all your concerns, and He'll carry you at the palm of His hand.

September - the best way to prepare for life is to begin to live
More importantly, be inspired by all the great things that you are or WERE blessed with.

October - happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it
And your friends are those who find you when they know you need them, and those who stay away, ought to stay that way.

Wanted Substitute Parent

gWho'll want to hang my graduation picture in her dining room wall?

Who'll invite so many guests on my wedding day or insist on having some of them as sponsors?

Who'll go with me to the doctor from the slightest cold to a scary chalazion?

Who'll bring home her Christmas gifts unopened because I want to open them?

Who'll visit me just because i feel kinda lonely?

Who'll wait with me outside for a ride to the city?

Who'll track me when i travel?

Who'll notice when my white clothes need to be bleached?

Who'll get mad at me when i wear pyjamas to the mall? or wear slippers when i should wear shoes?

Who'll pull my shirt down when it's too short or pull my neckline up when it's too low?

Who'll notice me when i obsessively pluck my eyebrows?

Who'll stop me from looking at the mirror while i eat?

Who'll care to tell me i should sit properly because my underwear is showing?

Who'll remind me to get up from bed when i watch DVDs or read a book all day?

Who'll volunteer to sew or repair my clothes even if it takes a year or the clothes get lost and never get mended?

Who'll invite me to eat out because she doesn't want to cook?

Who'll order a feast in the restaurant?

Who will I love like i love you Ma?

September 30, 2007

I love you mama




I woke up crying and feeling so incomplete and the second didn't pass without me knowing why i felt so. I miss you ma. I wish i'd hear you call me by my name again or lovingly call me nakkong when it is something serious.

But I am glad i went to Sunday service this morning, because i was reminded from Ptr. Michael's message that no matter how insurmountable my circumstances are, they'd be nothing in light of eternity and the inheritance that awaits me in heaven.

There. I'll see you again ma. And we will worship God in heaven forever.

September 21, 2007

He killed her



I know most of you will tell me that he does not deserve to be posted in my blog. What, that it's atrocious. I myself want to delete him from my memory forever. Of course, i don't want to remember his face. I don't even want to know that he exists. I want to forget everything about him.

But guess what, i need to pray for him, the person who shot my mother. Itago natin siya sa pangalang Rogelio. (And i blurred his facial profile if you noticed.) He is the man who, at close range, fired a gun lodging a .45 caliber bullet in my mom's brain causing her instant death.

Yes you may say that. I know. I studied it. Innocent unless proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt. But please indulge this orphan.

Last August 6, several of our neighbors saw him approach my mom in front of our house. He took a gun from his waist. My mom gave a shout, covered her face with a green file bag. Then came the shot, which went through the bag, then through her chin, then to her brain. This man made a phone call to an unknown person and rushed south. The bullet was recovered from her head in the autopsy. He was captured a couple of hours later.

Yes, i'm telling you the story. This is the story that i don't want to recount. The story that kept me from telling my friends what happened. It's because i don't want to explain. I don't want to remember.

I saw this man August 7, the day after he killed mama. My sister and i saw him, sitting on a monoblock chair inside his small jail cell. His head was bowed.

Of course, we immediately asked him why. He told us he wanted to get her bag, that was why. So we told him he didn't get the bag. It was so easy to get a dead person's bag. So why. He couldn't explain it. I asked him if that was how he robbed people. Jog along the highway in a barrio with a gun with him. Spot a woman with a bag. Approach her. Shoot her. Then run away. Robbery 101. He couldn't explain it.

You know, no, he never ever heard bad words coming from us. Never. We were calm. We only asked questions. We even prayed for him, lengthily. For God to enlighten his mind. For the truth to come out. For love, for forgiveness.
You see, God helps those in need. He is in need. We are in need. So we need prayer.

Later on, I saw him wipe his tears with his orange shirt while we were praying.

Immediately after the prayer, he knelt down, still wiping his tears. "Agpakawanak manang. Madi diay inaramid ko. Agpakpakawanak."

Translate: Forgive me. What i did was wrong. Forgive me.

Yes, Rogelio, we forgive you. But you have to face the consequences too.
From the start, we prayed so hard for love already, to be able to forgive, to be able to forget. Now, I am angry, yes. But i don't hate him.

God said, it is His to avenge. God said that we should not repay evil with evil but with blessing. That's hard you know. Obviously.

But I am sure God was at work at that time even now. I couldn't have asked my sister that we pray for the man whom we should abhor if it weren't for His grace.

I have faith that God is at work.

So please pray with us. This man has a private lawyer representing him. It's ironic isn't it, that the man who was supposed to rob my mom, surprisingly, can afford a private lawyer.

For us, nobody wants to take the case.


Simply two things. It is either they have kids and they don't want to die yet OR the case is too politicized they don't want to be used.


And where does that leave us? Well, there's no private prosecutor yet, until now. So, we are praying for grace and protection for the fiscal/s assigned to the case.

Please pray that Rogelio, by some miracle, will tell the whole truth and bring justice to my mom's senseless death.


Please pray for a fair trial. Please pray for the truth to come out. Please pray that the person/s responsible for her death will be held liable.


Please pray for a speedy trial. Please pray for the protection of the witnesses. Please pray for the impartiality of all the persons who are involved.


Please pray for our family's protection.
Earlier this year, after unknown men in motorcycles fired shots at our house last May 14, my mom ordered me and my sister to go out of Bauang at once. We did. But we went home in a couple of days. We wanted to accompany her.


You know what she said, she said 'who will be left to fight for us, if the three of us will all die.' We were able to convince her that my sis and my life are not in danger. That is why we wanted to be there. If we abandoned the house then it is so much easier to target her when she goes home, even with close in security.


At some point, when all the lawyers didn't want to take our case, we were so dismayed. We wanted to leave things to take their own course. But our mom told us, the one who survives must fight. But somehow, we are left so helpless. As simple as getting a private lawyer is so elusive.


But I am God's child. We are fighting our battle in the spiritual realm now. I know He knows and sees what is happening. I know my Mom is happy where she is.


I was talking to a friend earlier and i was telling her that my only regret is that my mom was not able to wait for the time when she does not have to work, when all she'll think about is herself, her hobbies, her leisure.


She told me, she is already a Dona where she is. And it is true. Nothing, nothing not even all the world's riches will compare to what awaits us in heaven. To be there with our creator is the best thing that can ever happen to someone, in fact, it is that one great hope that all Christians look forward to. Precious in the eyes of God is the death of His saints.


So i am praying for God's will. God is a God of justice. Please stand with us in prayer.


Thank you dear friends.

September 18, 2007

Dear Ma,

I always ask God that if it be possible, He become a messenger for me. I want to always tell you that I miss you so much and I'll love you until the day I die.

Its been more than a month Ma. At times, i still deceive myself. That I'm just away from home for law school, that you are waiting for me at home, that you're just too busy to call, that you are not sending me text messages because you don't want to disturb me.

The pain is really unbearable, to realize that I'll never get to hear your voice again nor hold your hand nor could I rest my head on your shoulders.

I miss you so much Ma.

I wish I could go home in La Union and see you open the front door and hug you. Then you'll prepare food because you know I don't eat that much when I travel, to avoid barfing my life out. You'll drink coffee while I eat. Then you'll listen to my endless stories. I'll clean up while you prepare my room and replace the covers.

I wish you could appear here just as you said in your last phone call, the night before you passed away. I wish for the guard to buzz my room saying you are downstairs. Then I'll tell her to let you in at once. Then you'd be at my door with your precious bag slung around your left shoulder and a box of the goodies I said I wanted to have from La Union when you've called me the day before.

Or I wish you'd send me a message asking me to go to Kabayan at once because you are already there trying to get some sleep. I wish I could ride the elevator and look for your room either at the sixth or at the seventh floor where we'll argue what channel to watch or how loud the volume of the television would be that night.

Ma, I wish I can sleep beside you again and hug you when it's cold. I wish I can make your cellphone ring once or twice if i need to tell you something so that you'll give me a call in a minute or two. I wish the personalized tone I assigned for you will play once again. I wish your photo will appear in my cellphone screen indicating that i have a message from you.

I wish, we could go to Gateway so that I can stop you from shopping and convince you albeit always unsuccessfully that you can get better clothes in Baguio's ukay ukay. I wish I could tell you once more that you order too much food when we eat out or that you have too many clothes or own too many pairs of shoes. I miss travelling with you.

I wish we can laugh about my stories and your stories or share a little gossip here and there. I wish I can see again that look in your face when i offer to prepare you a cup of my special mix of coffee. I wish to hear you tell me to stop plucking my eyebrows and to stop staring at the mirror while i eat.

I wish I can convince you again to stay home when you'd go out bowling or ballroom dancing. I wish I can see my bedroom box full of chips and chocolates each time I'd be home. I wish you'd be there to stay up late making all sorts of 'i can't sleep' excuses, when Homer visits. I wish to receive your hourly messages whenever i go to Apayao.

Ma, I miss how you ask me if it's raining here or if there's a power outage or if i ate already or if i didn't forget to drink my medicine or if i still eat fruits or vegetables. Ma, I miss your encouragement. I miss you telling me that everything is alright. Ma, I miss you being so proud of me. I miss you asking me how I am and what i need, what I want. I miss you calling me just because you miss my voice.

I love you so much Ma. I am not exactly sure of what lies ahead. I hope when the Bible speaks of a reunion, it'd mean a reunion where i'd still be your Rianne and you'd still be my Mama. So we can walk the streets of gold together like we do everywhere.

I hope to see you again Ma. I hope to hear from you. Even just in my dreams.

Love,
Rianne

September 09, 2007

To leave or to not leave






Where i live

September 02, 2007

Wanted: Criminal Lawyer

Lord,

Please send us a good lawyer - someone who wouldn't mind the evident political color of the case he will be embroiled in, someone who wouldn't fear Voldemort's clout, someone who is fair, good, meticulous, Godly, brave and principled.

Love,
Rianne

August 29, 2007

Dear God,

You gave me very wonderful parents.

My dad used to get up early just to cook breakfast for me. When i didn't want what's on the table, i'd complain; then, he'd prepare another meal for me.

Recently, i just saw my old travel itinerary back in 2001. There, my mom listed down the time of each phonecall and where i was at that time; and copied there each text message i sent from NAIA until i reached my final destination.

Lord, at 26, the two people who valued me like nothing else in this world is more precious are both gone. And i am with the hope that they are in a state of conscious joy in your presence, free from the cares of this world.

But i still hope they can see me, or listen to me, or for that matter i hope they still know me. If so, can i ask you to be my messenger? Or can they roam the earth so that they will just stay with me all the time?

Lord, my finite mind cannot fathom your reasons. But i have faith that you'll take care of me and make me well.

I don't know how many deaths i have yet to face, but please God, not in the near future, please, not soon.

I know you don't give us anything we cannot bear.

And its hard. I can not even begin to explain how hard and painful it is. And why the recent loss had to happen that way.

But Lord, i thank you for my friends. Thank you for my extended family. Thank you for the people who care for me. Thank you that i have a good relationship with my only sister. Thank you for your provision.

Lord, please give me more faith to hold on, to You alone. Please give me more love to forgive. Please give me more grace to have the strength and ability to move on.

Love,
Rianne

August 24, 2007

Grief from her

Ate's post

August 19, 2007

Memory

I wish i can record all the words you told me, all the laughter we shared. I wish i can freeze all your embraces so that i can feel it when i want to. I wish i can play every moment we were together, blow by blow, detail by detail. I wish i can press a button to make you appear and see your smile. I wish i can make you materialize out of thin air so that you can check on me once again in my room. I wish i can face you once again while eating at the restaurant. I wish you will be beside me once again while we walk to where we are going. I wish i can sit beside you again to be able to nudge you awake when you're about to fall asleep.

I miss you mama.

August 18, 2007

Grief

The pain is unbearable
I can't explain it
I want to shout and be angry
I want everything to stop

I'm even tired of asking why
I miss her so much
I want to die and join her
But she wants me to live

And move on
And have a good life
But how can i?
When she's gone

All the things
I have been striving for
Are dedicated to her
I wanted her to be happy

I wanted to offer her
The best life
She could ever wish for
While she's living

But she's there
Somewhere
Where there's no pain
Where all is gay
Where there's no sadness
All is blissful

And i have to accept it
Because she wants me to
Because she taught me how
Because she loved me
To the ends of her being
I love her
I miss her

Someday we'll meet again
And before that time comes
I'll try to live
And breathe
Because she bore me in her womb
And raised me up like this.

I owe her that.

August 01, 2007

Quarter life

Lately, i am realizing that i love the science of everything. In my mind, i invariably play a discussion on the nature and occurence of things when i see them. Condensation of water vapor on my green water bottle, the expansion of warm air in a low pressure area, the chemical reaction of oxygen in my banana flambe, force multiplied by distance as a technique in carrying my overweight school bag.

I am a sucker for information so i surf a lot. Yes, i do at least ten google searches a day - finding answers to inane questions like why there's a sudden ringing in my ears and why exactly getting wet from a slight drizzle makes us sick.

And why do i miss programming? I miss the structured statements and the reusable objects, the flawless logic and brevity of algorithms and the excitement of a written program working for the very first time. I won't mind finding that single semi-colon making everything awry.

Now, ask me where i am and what i am doing. It somehow doesn't add up. But yeah, math is fun too.

July 29, 2007

Sabi na nga ba Harry e

I was not too keen on starting Book 7, Harry Potter because i knew it would lead to this.

I only had 2 hours of sleep this morning because i started the book at 9pm last night and couldnt stop, except for a Starbucks caramel macchiato treat by my dear friend Mon, until i got to the last sentence at 6am.

I do not feel haggard at all.

July 22, 2007

Taste of heaven

I am not holy. I know, however, that i have a close relationship with God my father. Thank God that i am part of a spiritual family where i am nurtured and encouraged to find and live my purpose.


Every Nation World Conference 07
Araneta Coliseum



July 21, 2007

Lord of All

I wanna live for You
Be glorified forever
My life will declare
That You alone are Lord
Everything of me
Use it for Your glory
That everyone will see
Will hear, will know
That You are Lord of all

July 18, 2007

Memorandum

Please be advised that effective July 18, 2007, Dormitoryana will impose a dorm CURFEW up to midnight only.

We may allow entry of latecomers but any habitual tardiness beyond midnight will be reported to the parents or guardians.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Dormitoryana
Management

Ayuuus! Haha.

July 11, 2007

Kumusta ka na?

Okay.

My Friendster profile says that i am single and i just happened to post my latest picture.

My grade school classmate chanced upon my profile and sent me a Friendster message.

Punch one: He mistook me for their programmer. (Well... i was a programmer and recently did something related to that -- so yeah, of course that's valid.)

Punch two: He said my face looks mature. (Okay, so law school might be taking its toll on me. Err... okay, will pass.)

Punch three: Do you have kids already? (Well, i have posted several pictures with my nephew so maybe he thought he's my son. Okay then.)

Punch four: (But my profile says im single. Thus, he thought i was a single mom, but a lot of people are. So... fine then.)

Okay... Okay.

But...

RAWR!

July 07, 2007

So out of words

What we see depends mainly on what we look for.

June 25, 2007

Bargain Finds

FOR SALE:

HARRY POTTER Collection
Books 1 to 6
Hard Bound

I WONDER WHY Collection
For Children
Hard Bound


JVC DVD player

Contact Kit: 09157486230

June 24, 2007

High school classmates represent

Hello people. Well, its just one of those times when i feel like i
wanna go back to high school and bask in the simplicity of life's
delights. Don't you wish that sometimes?

Medyo lang 1997 ko pa huling nakita ang iba sa inyo. Sana naman
isang araw ay masalubong ko na lang ang isa sa inyo sa Gateway o di
kaya makasabay sa eroplano nang hindi inaasahan.

However, that's not how it really is, right? It's a small world they
say but what are the chances that i'll never get to see some of you
anymore?

Ibig ko lang sabihin...

In this complicated world, it still takes effort to maintain
relationships no matter how people revel at and brag about the
advances in technology that claim to make communication so
effortless. Isn't it ironic? It isn't if we don't make it.

Yun lang.

Life is good. Muah!

rianne aka trichzie
who wants the corny high school stuff
back

Grrr...

So i think i cant make it to Archie's wedding on Saturday. Kainis. Or at best, i'll be arriving halfway through his wedding reception. Like i did at Myra's.

Haay. I was so looking forward to that get together plus the trip and good food.

It's just sad three things i can't not attend just happens in June 30 in QC. But everything ends at 2pm so i have a chance. Sana!

I did a good deed last night. So i'm happy. Yey.

June 07, 2007

Air Cooler

So i bought this thingamajig called 'air cooler' which uses water vapor to cool the fan breeze. My first plan was to get a .5hp aircon but the Ilocano in me rejected the idea.

It is manufactured by Asahi. There is another manufacturer, Union but it was not available and it does not have an ionizer. The ionizer purifies the air.

The fan comes with two ice packs that you put with water inside its body. I have yet to use it with ice since the dorm suddenly pulled out the ref i was supposed to rent - without notice (grrr). With water at room temperature though, the fan blows cooler air than my Asahi wall fan. The breeze can reach further as well. Only at 55watts. So im happy.

I've surfed the net and reviews are so far convincing. A few people said it was useless though but maybe they live in the desert. I'll buy tube ice from Rustan's later and i'll see if its worth my Php 3370.

June 05, 2007

Sadness

I just bought a Victory Liner ticket for Cubao, 10:40 pm. Registration is at 9am tomorrow. I'll be living in an isolated room atop a building. I'll clean my own space, prepare my own food, budget my money, take care of myself.

But on the lighter side, i'll see my precious friends again and will learn new things in junior year kuno.

Sigh but yahoo.

Please continue praying for my mom's safety.

May 15, 2007

Hello real world

Welcome to the land of election related violence.

It was around 4 o'clock in the morning. I woke up to a large bang with the purr of a motor vehicle roaring away to the north. Our house was along the national highway. I was ready to shake it off as a big avocado that fell on the roof with a really loud thud. Rhys was fast asleep beside me. I thought my sister alongside Rhys didn't hear a thing.

So i sleep again.

Then came Homer, knocking at our door asking what it was and where mama was.

I and my sister quickly went out of the room to deliberate on what that sound was. Homer was positive that it was a gun shot, saying it was a small gun, probably a 9mm or .45cal.

My sister all along, contrary to what i thought, heard the sound and was processing what happened before Homer's knocking. She was not sure if someone threw a stone at us or if it was a fire cracker or a gun.

And so i and you as well, may have realized how unintelligent my earlier Avocado conclusion was. Mama received a hand written death threat written in short bond paper with permanent black ink placed in a short mailing envelope last week. She also received a subtle threat from a high ranking official we don't know of.

We decided to call my mom, who went out of the house at exactly 2 am, thank God so much. Then we called the police.

So i changed clothes without washing my face nor brushing my teeth and my sister complained on why i was wearing a tank top and short shorts all of a sudden. I said it was an emergency situation.

So two policemen came. They stopped in front of the gate and just stood there, looking so roused from a good night's sleep by a very paranoid caller. They asked what happened, so we described the gun shot. They didn't bother getting past the gate, by the way. After a few explanations, they told us 'We'll record it.' I walked towards the house when they started towards the police car when i noticed a small piece of glass near our front door.

I quickly told my sister to call them back. Then there it was, a broken window pane with a nice little hole on the steel frame evidently caused by a bullet. It was the window at the left side of the main door.

So the two policemen checked. We looked around for the slug or the shell, whatever. We didn't find any. My sister started sweeping the shards of glass on the floor and i asked her why. She was destroying evidence! She laughed and said she was asked to. The two policemen told us to look for the bullet when the sun's up before they went back to the station.

That morning we found another bullet mark on the wall next to the window on the other side of the house forming a right angle to where the broken window was. There was a bullet skid (?) mark on the glass. The chief of police with the same two policemen paid us another visit and we showed him the other bullet entry point. They stayed for a few minutes and we served them coffee and buttered toast.

We, er, they looked all morning for the bullet and we found nothing. My mom, was by then, calling every 20 or so minutes checking on us. A police escort was already with her and she was scared about what those crazy people might do next. She gave an ultimatum that by 3pm we should be out of Bauang already.

Well, too much for my excitement on the day i will vote for Mr. Sobrepena as Caba mayor, who lost, according to my aunt, by the way. We voted, visited my lola and went up here in Baguio.

Please do pray for my family, especially my mom who is in La Union.

At ang masasabi ko,

ANG MAGTRABAHO NANG MARANGAL, HINDI FOUL
KAYA HINDI DAPAT ITIGIL

ANG TAKUTIN ANG ISANG BIYUDANG 53 YEARS OLD NA, FOUL
YON ANG DAPAT ITIGIL.

KASI NAKAKAHIYA KAYO.

SANA ANG MANALO, YUNG KARAPAT DAPAT.

AT YUNG MGA TAONG AKALA MO KAIBIGAN
NA MAKITID PALA ANG UTAK AT NAMPAPAHAMAK PA SA YO,
SANA MATUTO.

May 11, 2007

Hello world

Okay hindi ito Java or C program na una kong natutunan sa DISCS sa Ateneo.

Antagaaal ko nang hindi nagsulat, antagal hindi nagbasa ng kaso at komentaryo, antagal hindi nagagagawa ang aking araw araw na paglalakad, antagal nang hindi tumataas sa isang libo ang perang hawak ko na masasabi kong akin.

Pero masaya ako. Binabasa ko yung 'Your Best Life Now' sa orihinal na bersiyon. Iniisip at iniintindi ko rin ang iba't ibang estilo ng pangangampanya ng mga politiko. At idol ko si Abe Purugganan para Congressman sa La Union. Napaka epektibo kasi kahit nakabibingi minsan ang kanyang kantang hango sa temang kanta ng Palibhasa Lalake. Pati pamangkin ko e biglaang kinakanta kanta ito kung naaalala niya. Pati yung komunikasyon niya ng kanyang plataporma at kwalipikasyon (haay) e nasa komiks. Naaalala ko pa yung banda na parang ganito.

'O, bakit kailangan mo pang mag aral ng Masters?'
'A, tinatapos ko lang naman ang MBA ko sa Ateneo de Manila, etc...'

Pati ang pagkadakip sa kanya noon dahil sa pagsapi sa mga kudeta noong bandang 1989 e isinama niya. Nakalagay sa komiks yung headline noon ng inquirer. Oo nga naman di ba. Kaya imbes na negatibo sana e pinagmamalaki niya ang pakikipaglaban nila noon para sa pagbabago.

At gusto ko rin si Russel Sobrepena para maging Mayor sa amin. Kasi naging undersecretary siya ng Department of Tourism noon, maraming koneksiyon at kung anu ano pa. At sana naman maging instrumento siya para makahikayat ng kapital para sa Caba. Kahit na siguro totoo yung sinabi ng kaibigan ko na nag a alcohol siya basta nakikipagkamay at kahit hindi marunong ng Ilocano.

****

Last weekend, i 'toured' Lem here in Baguio. My ate and Homer were laughing and kinda worried how i would manage to, since i always get lost in this city. Haha. Well, at least i knew where the public market was when he wanted to buy some vegetables. Although i took the longer cut and blurted out he was brat in front of the vendor, haha.

And i started getting anxious when he told me he read the codal on Evidence already. I promised myself i'd do that after the elections.

Enjoy muna no. Yeah, yaya muna. At least malamig dito sa Baguio.

April 22, 2007

Wow

I just stood there, my legs half submerged beneath the waves. My back was against the setting sun. I was looking at the hills overlooking the calm sea. Some birds in the V formation were flying overhead. Ashley (the dog) was running along the empty shoreline. Rhys was digging a mini lake out of the sand. And the breeze, was whispering a sweet melody to my ears. The cool air was soothing my tired body as my feet were being gently sucked into the fine sand.

I love the empty, undeveloped beach.

April 16, 2007

Where is rianne



Where is rianne.


Here i am.
Here i am.


April 07, 2007

Malapit na


So most of you know i am still here in Quezon City waiting for my last final examination. After that, there's still one more paper to submit in lieu of a final exam but i'll send that via courier from La Union.

Grrr. So, i was depressed yesterday and the other day. And God knows how i cope with emotions. Oh well. It's supposed to be Holy Week!

Also, I've been using the timer function in my cellphone a lot. I'm limiting my study periods at one hour each. After each short span, i watch TV, or eat, or go to Rustan's, or go to my new room.

Yes, next semester, i'll transfer from this big unit at the ground floor to the single (much smaller) room at the 4th floor. The main purpose of which is that when my mom comes over, we dont need to stay at the hotel anymore. So, we can save a lot by just adding 1k or so to my monthly rent considering the fact that she's here almost every month anyway. There are only three of us there (one each room) so no more noisy neighbors talking to each other at 12am, no more loud phone conversations overheard (and that surely catch my attention), no more loud music/TV/movies playing from other rooms (well, hopefully), no more noisy girls in the gazebo.

But the new room needs an AC, its freaking hot. I havent tried opening the outer wall windows though and that might spell a lot of difference.

I'm excited to go home! I'll probably head straight home from exam unless we go out for dinner. Haay. I miss home and every sense of the term. Home. Home. Home.

Homer.

My nephew will be in first grade come June!

March 25, 2007

Tigang

Sabi niya, di ko raw siya nabibigyan ng panahon. Lahat daw ng bagay inaatupag ko maliban sa kanya. Gusto na raw niya akong makausap pero sadya raw akong mailap, umiiwas. Hindi na raw niya ako kilala.

Sabi ko, hindi naman. Pero ayaw niya akong pakinggan e. Miss na miss na miss na raw niya ako.

Kaya blog, eto na ko. :-)

Corny scale: 10

*******

Here's a list of my favorite snacks (as of the moment). Try them. Siyempre masarap.

1. Puffins (Cinnamon)
2. Nagaraya/Chikito
3. Takinoku? (Meiji)
4. Growers peanuts
5. Cheese bar kay Mommy (Malcolm)
6. Walters wheat bread with Nutella
7. Danish Baker muffins/Kenny Rogers corn muffins
8. One Rice Crisps
9. Cheese Rings (kahit ayoko na ng junk food)
10. Tofiluk

March 09, 2007

Babasahin para sa mga nanlulumo

Noong isang linggo, gumawa kami ng isang dokumento sa Ipil function room, isa sa mga dormitoryo sa UP. Alas nuwebe na kaming natapos. Ayoko pang sumakay sa taxi (1) kasi alas diyes naman ang huling jeep(2) papuntang Katipunan kaya minabuti kong lumakad mula Ipil hanggang sakayan kasi sabi ni Tere e wala na raw Ikot(jeep na umiikot sa UP). Masaya ako noong araw na yon. Mabagal pa kong naglalakad sa gilid ng Sunken Garden at pasulyap sulyap sa kalangitan para silipin ang mga bituin.

May dalawang bihis na lalaking paparating. May inabot sila sa akin. Wika nila 'Ma'am basahin niyo po.' Nagpasalamat naman ako. Tiningnan ko. 'Babasahin para sa mga nanlulumo'.

*************************

Speaking of sorrow, i attend a weekly small group meeting of girls, oh, 'women', to talk about our walk with God, apply what the Bible says in our lives and pray for each other as well. Our leader shared a practical tip in praying, shared by one of the Pastors if i am not mistaken. Doing it just gives me so much joy and this natural high.

When you pray, choose a Psalm that exalts God (e.g. Psalm 52 onwards). Pray the Psalm. I mean, for instance just thank, exalt God because of what the Psalm says. (e.g. Thank you God that i can trust in you. Thank you that you are my stronghold. I worship you because you are greater than anything in this world.) Just worship God sincerely. After that, tell God that you are quieting yourself, your thoughts to hear what he wants to tell you. It's just a quiet time to communicate, just to hear from him. So pray for an open heart, mind to listen. Of course this is not a spooky thing to expect an audible voice, though that's possible. God may speak through verses you have read in the Bible, or with a strong conviction about doing something. It does not matter how long you do it. It may be 5 minutes or an hour but the important thing is you quiet yourself just to commune with God.

It's really good. Try it.

March 04, 2007

Victorious

It just blesses me to see thousands of people gathering to praise God and declare his glory.



I attended the VCF Metro Manila Churches Convergence with my mom a while ago at the Araneta Coliseum. It was so powerful to see around 10 thousand people (or maybe more) worshipping and publicly acclaiming God. How it encourages me to see others having the same faith as i have. All of us are holding on to a specific destiny that God has for each one person. Imagine, each person is just a miniscule dot in this whole wide universe. But God loves each person. Each one is special. Each one is able to love, relate with a lot of people, affect other people. And all of us have a purpose. We aren't just dots in our lifetime. Our lives can be meaningful according to His will.

My prayer is that i'll be able to share this joy that i have in serving my one true God and in having this lovely relationship with my Savior.

I love Him. This love story is bliss. It's just amazing.

February 25, 2007

Someone's singing

We've spent so many summers together
And we thought its all that good
Even if heavy rains poured
It didn't change the mood

We believed in forever
Love put us together
But all that was not enough
There were other things we wanted

All my threats were silenced
Because the real thing was laid
I thought it's what i needed
But why all this pain

I don't want you to come back
Nor do i want you to call
But whatever i do
There's this longing inside

I don't want to embrace
The pain that i've left
Though they recur all day all night
I know they'll fade in time

All my hopes were crushed
Because the truth was blurted out
The things i thought that were
Aren't really there

All our dreams were shattered
Because for once i've learned from you
That things are not alright
Though they actually seem to

I don't want to see you
Nor do i want to remember
But wherever i look
I see you, only you.

February 24, 2007

High school

Can you name 13 of your classmates in high school that you can think of right off the top of your head. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 13 people. This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first.

No Cheating!!!

1. homer
2. mon
3. mars
4. eric
5. regel
6. chris
7. lanie
8. malou
9. cindy
10. bryan
11. jomel
12. jones
13. russel

How did you meet 10?
Probably, first day in first year high school of course.

What would you do if you had never met one?
Then there's no ONE. Hehe.

What would you do if 6 and 2 date?
Normal. LOL.

Have you ever seen 4 cry?
Hmm... Not yet. Hopefully, some day. Just kidding!

Do you think 10 is cute?
13 years ago, yes.

How did you get to know 8?
Unang araw din siguro sa DMMMSU. At kami ang naging BUs.

Would you ever go on a date with number 12?
Oo naman. Nagkikita kami noon sa McDo para magtsismisan.

What's 7's Favorite color?
Blue noon. Ewan ko ngayon. Busy girl e.

What would you do if 5 confessed he/she loved you?
I'll say, 'I love you too friend.'

Fact about 9:
She just gave birth to her second baby!

Who is 4 going out with?
Friends!

What is number 5 to you?
Ang pinakagalante kong kaibigan.

Would you ever live with 13?
Why not? He makes you laugh all the time.

Is 2 single?
It's complicated.

Where does 7 live?
Baguio/Tubao

What do you think about 3?
Mahiwaga at nag iisang Harpias sa buhay namin.

What do you like about number 11?
Pareho kami ng taste!

Favorite Memory with 1?
The long drive around Northern Luzon.

What's the nickname of 6?
Chris

Describe 1.
Mataba.

Famous line of 7?
Wala e. Pero ang astig sa buong klase ay ito. 'Sino ang tunay na Jojo Veloso.'

Repost as "Can you name 13 of your classmates in high school?"

February 15, 2007

Come

Take me to a brief sojourn
In the midst of the clouds
Let us close our eyes
And fly around

Let's dance with the wind
And sing along
Gaze at the blue expanse
And move with the song

Let's listen closely
To the earth's heartbeat
Lie on thin air
Touch and feel it

For a split second
Come and take me away
Even for a while
Let the moment stay

We'll land together
When we are done
Face the world's music
It will be fun

Wonkatoot


February 11, 2007

Peace, joy, happiness

I can't describe the feeling.

I feel so at peace, so happy, so comfortable, so loved. It's one of those high moments. I feel so blessed and so precious.

I've been having issues for the past couple of years and in one victorious weekend i've dealt with them and faced them one by one by one. I know this is a lifelong commitment so i will always pray that God will give me consistency in dealing with 'those' areas in my life day after day.

I love God. And its amazing how he makes significant changes in just two days.

I don't see him nor do i hear his audible voice. But he is so real. So present.

I love it.

January 28, 2007

Song in my head

I heard Lea on TV and i'm smitten.

Promise Me
Beverly Craven

You light up another cigarette
and I pour the wine
It's four o'clock in the morning
and it's starting to get light
now I'm right where I want to be
losing track of time
but I wish that it was still last night

You look like you're in another world
but I can read your mind
how can you be so far away
lying by my side
when I go away I'll miss you
and I will be thinking of you
every night and day just

Promise me you'll wait for me
'cause I'll be saving all my love for you
and I will be home soon
Promise me you'll wait for me
I need to know you feel the same way too
and I'll be home, I'll be home soon

When I go away I'll miss you
and I will be thinking of you
every night and day just

Promise me you'll wait for me
'cause I'll be saving all my love for you
and I will be home soon
Promise me you'll wait for me
I need to know you feel the same way too
and I'll be home, I'll be home
Promise me you'll wait for me
'cause I'll be saving all my love for you
and I will be home soon
Promise me you'll wait for me
I need to know you feel the same way too
and I'll be home, I'll be home soon

Lord, I pray for excellence in my exam tomorrow. Thank you. :-)

January 24, 2007

Leaving the promised land

http://www.everynation.org/en/top/features/odb/january-blogs/jan-23-leaving-the-promised-land.html

Lessons in the Life of Abram: Leaving the Promised Land
by Jim Laffoon

Lot looked up and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan was well watered, like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, toward Zoar. (This was before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.) So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan and set out toward the east. The two men parted company. Abram lived in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents near Sodom. Now the men of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the LORD. Genesis 13:10-13

Sleep had been impossible that night. As he paced restlessly back and forth across the floor of his tent, Abram’s soul was in agony.

“Not Sodom! How could Lot leave the land of Canaan and choose to live in a place of such darkness? He is more than my nephew; he is like my own son. Lot! Lot!" he cried. As Abram fell to the floor weeping, he begged God to spare Lot from the consequences of his folly.

Although God had heard Abram’s prayers, Lot was not going to escape all of the consequences of his deception. Years later, he would lose everything but the lives of his two daughters when Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed.

Why did this young man, who was like a son to Abram, choose to live outside of the Promised Land? This question is important because the same thing still happens today.

Sadly, I know many Christians who, like Lot, have walked away from God’s place and purpose for their lives.

First, according to Genesis 13:10, the plains of Jordan, where Sodom and Gomorrah were situated, were like the land of Egypt. Lot’s trip to Egypt had awakened desires in him which the Promised Land of Canaan would never satisfy.

In addition, Lot had been so deceived by his own desires that he even likened the plains of Jordan to the Garden of Eden (vs.10). To Lot, the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, not the barren, barbaric land of Canaan, were now his true "Promised Land."

Second, we never hear about Lot having a wife and children until he moved to Sodom and Gomorrah. Could it be that Lot’s ardent desire for companionship and sexual fulfillment were greater than his desire for God and His purposes? I believe they were.

Third, unlike Abram, Lot did not seem to have a deep relationship with God. Whenever Abram got discouraged, he would simply go the altar and meet with God until his faith was renewed and strengthened. Although Lot had heard repeatedly from Abram about God’s promises for their family, I do not believe they had ever been confirmed, by God, in Lot's own heart.

I have found in my own life that when things get hard, the word of a human (no matter how much you trust them) may not be enough to sustain you. Each of us must come to our own place of faith and confidence through time in the Word and prayer.

Where are you today? Have you been deceived into living outside of your Promised Land? Some of you have allowed the deep loneliness of your soul to dominate your life.

As you have frantically searched for your “significant other,” you have wandered farther and farther from the place of God's purpose and destiny. Others of you, though you were raised in tremendous Christian homes, have gone as far as your parent’s faith will carry you. Unless you develop your own vital relationship with God, you will never have the faith you need to sustain your pursuit of Him and His will for your life.

Tragically, some of you don’t even realize you have left your Promised Land. Like Lot, you have been so deceived by your own desires that you now consider the place of compromise you are living in to be a virtual “garden of Eden”.

No matter where you are today, it’s not too late for you to return to your Promised Land. If you will cry out to God and His people, He will bring you into His best for your life.

May God give you grace to change as you ponder these words today.

© Copyright 2005 by Jim Laffoon

January 21, 2007

Current passion

Okay, this is kinda pathetic but i need an affordable swimming trainer/instructor. Sundays lang naman.

1. I don't know how to tread on water.

2. I want to perfect my swim strokes as well as the focused, middle aged, glaringly disciplined men and the beautiful toned woman i saw at the quiet pool earlier whose endurance in swimming lap after lap after lap made me feel like i am the most unfit person in the world.

Ian Thorpe. Come and save me.

January 20, 2007

:-)

This is so going to be a great year. Thank God.:-)

January 16, 2007

An affair to remember

waiting for Harpias
waiting for Harpiaswaiting for the food

waiting for the food

waiting for dawn

waiting for dawn then waiting for a ride home


i love waiting with you guys.

January 12, 2007

Dreamland

I saw a child
skipping rope
wth her friends
merrily skipping
and happily laughing.

They played along
the busy street
where traffic was bad
and cars honked
while people walked.

Near the drugstore
under the stairs
of the blue overpass
going to the school
right across.

Right in front
of the damp, dark
and narrow alley leading
to their small neighborhood
of packed houses.

Where i wanted to go
to ask their parents
how they fit
and how they went about
making ends meet.

The little children
gathered around
their two friends
with the long string
of rubber bands.

Around their
waists while a
little child sang
and skipped and
jumped and sang.

They played
and sang
seemingly unaware
of the smoke
and the noise.

I stared and
a little boy
approached me
and looked at me
silently.

I reached
for my pocket
and felt a coin
inside
a single coin.

He was still
staring
and i gave it
put it on his palm
and i walked away.

January 07, 2007

I need an extra phone

  • Preferably samsung or ericsson, but any will do
  • Must be capable of supporting a headset
  • Good, working condition
  • Small, lightweight

Sell me yours. :-)