December 02, 2006

Still on being alone

Loneliness brings out all your deepest regrets, the never ending concerns. Having people around you covers these emotions. The constant chatter and laughter is security enough. But when you are amidst deafening silence, your mind thinks. You miss people. You realize the gaps and the things you can never bring back. And you constantly want to relive the chatter or the laughter or the bright hopes you may have in life. You want to stay focused on the good things to cover the bad. Sometimes, you are lucky to drive the negative thoughts away, sometimes, you'll just sulk, or cry or try so hard to sleep hoping to wake up to fresh thoughts. But the bad things just lie there even if you deny that they exist. So, you stay busy and fill up your whole day because a small gap will revive the sadness. It's a cycle.

Those who are truly happy are those who can be happy alone. Where does that place people who need other people?

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