November 08, 2006

Kuwentong barbero

I went to F-Katipunan earlier, wanting to get a haircut; technically just a two-inch trim to get rid of the frizzy ends. I went there because of the 39.95, shampoo, cut and blowdry. I didn't wanna spend money on something so easy that even my nephew could have decently done it. (But my Ilokanoness is another story.)


Anyway, i went past the door just a fraction of a second ahead of a lovey dovey couple. So the three of us went upstairs to where the salon attendants were. As you may very well know from the price, there was no prompt attention given. We were just waiting there standing by the counter for two minutes or so, with nobody among those intently watching a PBA game's last two minutes give a heck. When they finally noticed our tiny existence, they asked what we wanted and one asked the three of us to go to the third floor.


Now, the guy climbed the stairs ahead of me and i didn't like it because i went in first right? So when he paused to give his girlfriend the coke can he was drinking from, i immediately overtook him, triumphantly walking into the room ahead of both.


Then, i was asked whether i wanted sauna. Sauna what?! I said no at once because the breaded porkchop i ordered was already waiting for me at the dorm. The attendant gave me a brown hospital gown like shorts and top set and asked me to go to the shower room. She said after i finish, i should go straight to the massage room. Shower? Massage? All in a 39.95 package?


I was speechless for a few seconds and the couple were standing behind me. The attendant said, one of us should wait because she can only accommodate two at a time - so that will be the guy and I. The girlfriend said, 'Ok, she goes ahead first, the two of us will just wait. We wanna go in together.' The attendant was a bit hesitant but she agreed anyway. I still didn't get what was happening and the attendant went to another room to get clean towels. Finally realizing i was in the wrong place, i told the girl i was only getting a haircut so it was freaky i was sent up with them. She said maybe they thought the three of us were actually together. I saw her face light up upon knowing they don't have to wait for me anymore and went inside the room where the attendant was and excitedly announced the good news.


I went down again and had to stare at the basketball enthusiasts like a lost puppy for a minute before they asked what i wanted. So i said, haircut.


No shampoo. One of them just made me sit down and cut my hair immediately without even spraying water on it. Less than a minute later, the attendant at the sauna room came down, followed by the couple i almost did a threesome with.


The others suddenly lost interest in the basketball game after the two left.


Basketball fans: Ba't nagbago ang isip?
Sauna attendant: Gusto nila magsabay e.
Guy giving me a haircut: E bakit? Pwede naman a.
Sauna attendant: Hello, okay ka lang? Kahit nga mag asawa di natin pwedeng pagsabayin e.
Basketball fans: Mag-asawa ba sila?
Guy giving me a haircut: Magjowa lang yun no. Bakit di mo pinayagan? Kasi hindi ka kasama?
Basketball fans: Hahahahahaha!
Sauna attendant: E di magmotel sila kung gusto nila.


Well, after that, my hair was totally damaged when the guy blewdry my not at all wet hair. I asked him to trim again because he didn't cut up to the desired length. When it was done, i gave a hundred and while i was waiting for my change, the sauna attendant came up to me.


Bothered sauna attendant: Kasama mo yung dalawa miss?
Rianne: Ay hindi po.
Bothered sauna attendant: Akala ko kakilala mo. Gusto ba naman nilang magsama sa sauna.
Rianne: Ah ganon.
Bothered sauna attendant: Haay, mga bata talaga ngayon.


The haircut was 45.00 by the way. 5.05 for gossip.

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