July 19, 2006

I suddenly miss working

I don't know. I was just browsing through Pablo Neruda poems a while ago then a cold mass hit me. I suddenly miss it. I am not sure if it is working per se or it is the work i had before getting into this peculiar environment people call as law school.


I suddenly saw myself back in that desk with two computers in front of me, sitting the whole day making and deciphering code, editing manuals, planning tasks and tracking progress.


When i left, i knew I.T. was not for me. I didn't wanna grow old analyzing systems, making programs and managing fellow computer geeks.


One test of knowing if you like a certain job is if you will do it even if you don't get paid. I was sure i didn't want to. I was sure all i wanted was a happy family with gorgeous kids. Hehe. Asking myself that question about my previous work after almost two years, i suppose i want to work again even if i'm not paid -- but only for a certain period, a whole week at a time perhaps, twice or thrice a year. Okay, i'm not assuming that my old Boss will accept me but yeah a part of me wants to work again.


I believe my first major decision was to accept my previous job over other options in Metro Manila, and work in the province. Overall, i didn't do bad. I experienced a lot of new things like living alone away from home for a while, meeting friends of different races, eating and learning to prepare authentic foreign dishes, being a boss, attending a real Indian wedding ceremony and learning from my sucesses and getting over mistakes. (well, so much for work, these are all not work related)


I hated a lot of things as well. I mean stuff like discussing an exaggeratingly simple execution in a certain program then learning afterwards that the other person in the conversation thought we were in some sort of an argument. Duh to these instances. What else. Who wouldn't panic and freak out when the company car gets lost? Who wouldn't be stressed if a project is way over deadline?


Although yeah, it was a good four years. I met my boss who was generally an optimistic, cunning, smart and witty risk taker whom i'd look up to for the rest of my professional life i guess. I met co workers who were funny and entertaining. I met people with different backgrounds and more than anything else, i really really enjoyed observing different behaviors. I was busy making programs and all that but after a full day at work, i really savored the moments i analyzed why and how people reacted and all that. I so miss the conversations i had with a co worker i shared a house with during my training and we'd have long talks about these things, culture, college, work and all sorts of stuff.


But now i'm here. And i have many things to read tonight.

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