March 28, 2006


The deafening silence is a dagger
Loneliness is a flowing river
In the depths, my wounds bleed
When it's the last thing i need

Memories rush and gently squeeze
What's left of emotions i freeze
Healing is an out there mystery
A double bladed incision of agony

My mind needs to be tied
Even to superficial lies
Because i miss you
All that concern, i owe you

That i feel you never felt
Because all i thought of was myself
Have i given you enough joy?
God, let there be noise...

March 11, 2006

Supreme Court, baby!

The moment, i got inside the session hall, i was awed. The rectangular room was perfectly august -- with the high ceilings, the elevated and finely polished wooden chairs of the Justices, the lawyers wearing black robes. It was WOOOH. Really. Wooh. I was like a child in a totally magnificent world of men in suits and women properly dressed, exchanging serious laughs and wearing honest to goodness faces.

It was a courtroom full of faces, i guess, mostly wanting Proclamation 1017 to be declared unconstitutional.

By the time Chief Justice Panganiban banged the gavel, i already put my glasses on so i can see the faces of the nameless ponentes in our Supreme Court cases. Yeah, these people are REAL.

And real they were. Some were very disappointing, which i fear to elaborate on. The thing is, i appreciated actually how our teachers treat us inside the classroom. The first oral argument lasted two hours or so, grilling after grilling by each of the Justices. They can raise their voices. Their faces can be all things other than pleasant.

But the big question was - can i do it when the time comes? I hope so. I pray so.

March 04, 2006

Out to the streets blabber

I always marvel at the fact that while it is so hard to labor, a new mom after giving birth always has that 'look' in her face. You see the feeling of contentment and profound joy beneath a sweaty face and unruly hair.

After that long walk from IBP to that 'undisclosed location' and back to IBP, i felt so haggard. My legs felt heavy, i was drenched in sweat, my clothes reeked of smoke and my face was caked with dust.

However, i'm surprised to see that we looked relatively 'fresh looking' after it all. The lifting of the proclamation is not the end though. I pray that the Supreme Court will rule on its unconstitutionality such that the probability of these excesses happening for the nth time will be lessened.

Or is it the proximity of a certain personality? Okay this is a private joke.

I'm really glad i joined the protests. I may not have shouted as loudly as the others. I may not have volunteered to hold a banner for fear that my mom will see me on tv. But the three days of expressing my idealism has taught me more than the thousand or so hours i've spent reading cases inside the comforts of my room.

Yes, i was scared. But during those times, i saw things up close. I saw what social reality really meant. I must admit, i've known these things way back when. However, seeing them up close makes them indellible. There were vendors pushing their way inside just to sell doughnuts and bottled water regardless of the mounting tension. The media men were right smack at where the action is. These people faced actual risks just going about their usual fare. To each his own duty the dangers notwithstanding.

It was amazing to see lawyers in their barongs and suits fighting to get through the ranks of uniformed men, fighting to exercise a constitutional right. The law they are practising isn't right anymore. Isn't that so ironic and doesn't it blatantly prove a fact?

At a certain point, the anti-riot policemen were pushing with their shields no other than us students. I mean us helpless group of students who are specifically stereotyped by the UP community as sheltered and without a voice. For me, that was something. But we stood still and resisted. The lawyers came to the rescue including that famous personality you may know.

I'm thinking what if the lawyers weren't there. Would we have stood still? Would we have been able to enter the shrine? And i'm thinking when it is our time, would we do the same thing? In our generation, would the situation have changed?

I hope so.

Each little move is a little step towards the future. That is why i'm glad to have been part of that group that has proved some people wrong. I'm so happy to have learned in a day what i've been learning in school for months. I'm glad to have taken the risk because it paid off a thousand fold. I'm so blessed to see hope.

A lot of things frustrate me but i hope one day, i become that good and upright lawyer, i've always dreamed of myself to be. So help me God.

March 01, 2006

Ang tanong

Inaaral ko ang 'law'. nagbabasa ng mga 'cases', 'bill of rights', 'constitutionality', at kung anu ano pa. Pero ano pang silbi ng mga inaaral ko, kung nasasawalangbahala rin naman. Ito ba ang edukasyon? Ako na pinag aralan mismo ang mga bagay na yon andito, internet. Iyong mga iba, andon, pinaglalaban ang tama. Ako pinagpuyatan ko ang pagbabasa sa mga ito e. Anong gagawin ko, mag aaral lang?

What am i doing here

Yeah, i study the law.

But what is happening now?

The rights enshrined in the Constitution, the supposed fundamental law of the land, are being trampled upon. Of what use are all those thick cases that i have read? Should i just let them go down the drain?

I am studying the law. I should KNOW exactly what is happening, that things are not going the right way, for a long time. For those who are given much, much is expected.

I am not saying that just because i am a law student, i know better than everyone else. What i am saying is that i have studied the very circumstances that are now being questionned. I am in a position to have an intelligent stand, an informed action. What am i doing?

What are you doing?