July 02, 2005

What is wrong with me?

One, i can't live alone. I mean like in a bachelor's pad, by myself. I read somewhere that people who can't live without company are those who are insecure, can not be independent and need others to be happy.

It's just that i need to be with someone. During weekends, people in the dorm go home or party. That leaves me alone most of the time. I should be happy actually, as i will be able to READ without interruption. However, i end up being too lonely, i just sleep all the time. The first days i had here were sooo lonely. I even had to knock at the adjacent unit's door telling them, 'i'm homesick, can i stay with you guys for a while?' How lame is that? I don't have to repeat my favorite line nowadays, that i'm too old for these stuff.

I don't need to talk to anyone though. It's just that i need to see someone, breathing, walking, smiling, eating or even sleeping. If i'm alone i just feel freaked out. It's not that i'm afraid or anything, i just need to be with someone.

Two, i just can't do the same single thing for extended periods. I need to take breaks. Well, except for movies, or really hard to put down novels. Other than those, i have to stop, take a walk, clean, do something else, eat, text, whatever. I have this attention span that complains when exceeded. Another problem is that, i can't force myself. I just can't concentrate on one thing for so long a time.

Argh. Why do i suddenly have this gamut of problems about myself suddenly.

Anyway, here's a picture of my block.

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