December 27, 2005


so that's pork inihaw, inihaw na tilapia, eggplant, okra that i really don't like that much
I am Ilocano and this is what i call LUNCH! Christmas is picnic/inihaw time!

ang SAWSAWAN: tomatoes, onions, alamang, soy sauce with calamansi, fish sauce, vinegar, soy sauce with calamansi!

My sister's birthday is on the 25th and this is what we had.

oysters and seaweeds!

December 21, 2005

My oh so neglected blog

our block party!
I've been enjoying, a lot. That explains the absence. Forgive me.

Well, you know, the Christmas bug. Dwindling assignments. Malcolm Madness. This is the day the students reign over the so called 'terror' teachers at Malcolm Hall. Honestly, i only managed to see part of the show, most of what i recall, i saw during rehearsals. However, 'twas great still. I saw some schoolmates impersonate the famous profs in UP Law, not to mention the offensive emcees.

the UP lantern parade
If you are wondering why i didn't experience my first Malcolm Madness in full, Gretchel, Charm, Cecille and i went to Bahay ng Alumni to catch a concert and there we saw Giniling Festival. The three had a huge crush on Jeje, the vocalist, who i must admit is very charming. I liked the cuter background guy though, the guitarist.

Right after the show, in the season's spirit, we had a spur of the moment trip to Tagaytay! Abdel, Naomi, Gretchel, Donna, Val, Rom, Charm and I. The guys i'm mentioning in this post are my blockmates. First we toured UP LB, care of Dawna. Yes, in the middle of the spooky night, she toured us around -- so we saw the fertility tree where couples, well, fertilize, haha. There was the never ending bridge, the hard to reach infirmary and yeah the buildings' ghost stories.

dancing the Tagaytay night away
Afterwards, we went to foggy Tagaytay. It was my first time, but hell, i didn't even manage to see Taal. Well, it was soooo foggy and second, i can't stand the cold windy night. All i wanted was to curl inside the car. It was night time, all the places were closed - EXCEPT Petron Treats and there we danced the night away. Yes, at the GAS station nonetheless. Brownman Revival was playing and we danced the cold away... Fun!
Petron Treats

December 03, 2005

Christmas Wish List

After my socially relevant post, i'm going to write about materialism in accordance with the season's spirit. Haha.

For those who want to bless me, I want:

1. a nice 2006 planner, i want a small one but it's got to have ample space per day to write on
2. i'm quite vain, if you don't know, so i'm in need of picture frames and photo albums, preference: butterfly designs
3. i need a big black school bag with a lot of compartments
4. i want slippers, the cheap ones. i saw a white one, i think the brand is reva, i'm not sure but it has pink butterfly prints.
5. i want pedal pushers, the one's that go past the knees, loose and straight cut. they just seem so comfortable.
6. i want money for 4 sessions of fruit based peel from dermclinic
7. i want a refrigerator, just a small one
8. i want two extra rechargeable AA Sony Cybershot batteries
9. i want a shoe organizer, the one you hang flat against the wall with a lot of compartments, it's made of plastic
10. i want an external CD writer

More to come! :-)

Ang pagdadalaga ni Maximo

I watched Harry Potter IV last week and this week it's 'Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo' of Cinemalaya.

Wow. A big wow.

It is incredibly simple but so great and heavy in effect. It just tugs your insides to see the life of a 12 year old or so homosexual in the company of a loving and supportive family of petty criminals surviving day to day life in an urban poor community. It says that many Filipinos are in seemingly hopeless situations where bad things are so inculcated, the only way to go is down there. Well, he met this likeable policeman who encourages him to change and uplift their condition, but in the end, his crush goes with the flow anyway.

There is a scene showing an alcoholic sitting all day in front of a dilapitated out of tune piano and like everyone, he has dreams that he can never reach simply because he has no means to do it - dreams that are so out there they are almost impossible.

The movie ends with Maximo going back to school, which says that no matter how hard, one has to do something. It may succeed. It may not. The good thing is that Maximo did something. It is also the only way to go.

November 27, 2005

A date with myself

In short, two friends begged off and one was too far (aka expensive) to meet, i went out with no one but myself. My mind was soooo convinced today was Harry Potter day so i gave in; besides, i needed a break from the loooong reading assignments.

Lucky day it was, the public can ride the LRT2 for free (until now i'm at a loss why; i never heard nor saw any ad about it). All the more, the guilt of being somewhere else other than my own study table lessened. I got to Gateway at 3:20, lined up and got the 3:40 schedule. The girl at the ticket booth asked how many tickets i'm getting and i said just one. Now i realize, i'm probably just one of the handful 'society tagged' pathetic people watching movies on their own. I went straight to Cinema 4 and watched. With all the hype about the movie and the fact that I have read the book, i have no comment whatsoever. Plainly good.

After that, i checked out the Globe business centers nearby if there was an available K700i but there was none so i went to the train station back to Katipunan. Honestly, i enjoyed going out alone. I had noone to wait for. I didn't worry someone was gonna walk too far than his or her strength can carry. I was able to get a nice seat since i could get in between the couples or the families. Well, i had no one to comment with nor laugh with nor cry with but hey, at least i know i managed being alone. I have problems with that you know.

November 06, 2005

Photo editor wannabe

I got carried away. :-)

November 01, 2005

November 1 treats

Look how happy they are waiting for the candles to melt for a nice big round ball.

Due to space constraints, two in one tombs are everywhere. Here's a four in one visited by a Lola as OC as I am. Notice how neatly arranged her flowers and candles are.

Here's a winning remembrance for the dead. Coke and Ginebra in plastic cups.

October 30, 2005

You gotta explain this to me

Okay. So there is this macho looking guy seating across the seat in front of me a while ago - black muscle shirt, brown leather shoes, jeans, nike cap, beard unshaven for 3 days or so, shades and a 'siga' posture. Lo and behold - he's wearing panties! Why in the world? I mean animal print, lacy garter, as in a girl's panty!

Used mom's panties because he's got no clean brief or boxers available? Or some adventure with girlfriend? Rushed out of the room and took the wrong undies? Oh great!

What a mystery!

October 29, 2005

Ten, nine, eight...

It's a countdown man. Ten days before next sem starts.

Aside from wanting to scrape of two millimeters of my facial skin, i've been desirous of nothing since the sembreak started. Well, i've had some 'anger fits' but generally, it's all been good - so that explains the complacency.

I really wanna start a business. I've had plans, a lot of them, but i've never started any. I intended to make three business plans during the break and i've done nothing. I realized now, it's not about my lack of start-up money, i've just been too easy going and i don't have enough drive to make my entrepreneurial dreams come true. Many things are cooking in my mind. A health and beauty shop, a streetfood stall, office supplies -- so many - and i don't think the ideas are totally losers. In fact, they are promising in terms of concrete opportunities, locations, market, customers' needs.

I just totally admire Allan, my grade school classmate, who's really persevering and raking in money planning events. Last time i saw him, he just came from Divisoria buying fabric for wedding gowns and i told him he'll really make it big someday and he'll be able to plan my wedding for free. I meant what i said. I can see his effort, his sincere love and joy from what he does and i want to have that exactly.

If only the desire is as intense as scraping off my epidermis.

October 27, 2005

Just got home

So i went there up North and spent a week. Simple simple simple life. No late night reading. No noisy highway. No traffic. No pollution. Just great food and TV and sleep. No pressure. I love it.

Well, it was not that uneventful. The trip up there was tiring. I took a Partas bus to Laoag for less than five hours then another bus to Cagayan in four. I had to walk quite a length in Ilocos Norte because the bridge in Pagudpud was cut in half or had a big gaping hole or whatever. But who would mind? I had two bags in tow, an umbrella and a fantastic view of the sea even under the rain.

But it hurt to know that the moment i got on the connecting bus the waiting cars started moving - because the bridge was fixed already! What 20 minutes can make.

October 15, 2005

It's so nice to be happy

Where is sleep when you need it? I mean, why in the world do i feel sleepy at 7pm when i have five inches thick of cases to read and not be sleepy at all at past 3am when i know i don't have to do anything at all but have fun in the next couple of weeks or so?

I'm officially on the last leg of a series of get togethers, which started last Thursday with my blockmates,

Friday night with my highschool barkada,

breakfast with the hot legs,

and ends tonight with my college orgmates.

After that, i'm heading straight to the bus station to spend Sunday with my family in La Union.

I'm having a truckload of fun, fun, fun. Well, not that i was so deprived of it during the semester , but i'm having an overdose definitely. I'm not complaining. At all.

October 01, 2005

Sembreak resolutions

1. I'll get a taste of HenHaw's crispy pata dipped in vinegar with onions and black sauce.

2. I'll go to Oasis on a Wednesday night for their Japanese buffet.

3. I'll have my aunt cook sauteed baguio beans with small slices of pork cooked to a crunch.

4. I'll have a dinner of porterhouse steak cooked by and eaten with my best friend.

5. I'll watch my Friends DVDs.

6. I'll sleep and hopefully get rid of my acne.

7. I'll blog about more sensible things.

8. I'll have a peaceful vacation at the tip of the island of Luzon.

9. I'll eat a lot more Kitkats and Taquitos.

10. I'll savor the width of my bed as compared to my little bunk bed in the dorm.

The opportunities lie in two weeks! I can't wait!

September 16, 2005

I have nothing to blog about

...but here i am typing. It's been a couple of weeks since i last updated this. I've had no connection for more than two weeks so i've missed blogging quite a bit.

There's nothing new in my life except that in a few hours i will be twenty five. Twenty five, that's like a fourth of a century, the last year when i still need parental advice to contract marriage, a silver anniversary, five years before thirty, my... twenty five is old!

Yet, i'm still in school getting a monthly allowance from my mom. Come to think of it, this is a result of past choices. The choice of my undergrad course, the choice of my first job, choices that i don't want to consider as mistakes lest i again sulk in those severe deppressive states that i don't enjoy basking in.

Why am i here and what's my purpose? Is this some kind of a quarter life crisis? I was at that point where i was so sure of what i wanted and was so sure of what i was supposed to be. I guess i chose otherwise and risked delving in a sharply winding road where the future is blocked from view. I see only a small part of what my vision can actually extend to.

Well, i'm not actually just flailing about but its just that in my mind, i have this resolve to do something right but i can not bring it to fruition. I'm just stubborn and there's a stubborn war between my mind and my feelings. I'm tired of this and it is so difficult.

August 24, 2005

The first half is over!

Though, i still have to stay up late tonight for recitations tomorrow, i'm so glad, the midterms mania is over! I'm quite irked by a few of my answers but hey, it's done and i can do nothing but wait for the results. Please God, let it be good.

Since Monday, i've been so stressed! 1) My computer's usb ports aren't working at all - no mouse, no printer, no webcam :-), no IR. 2) My acne is sooooo aggravated. Hormones, please stop. Well, i blame everything, from stress, to mere six hours of daily sleep, to my hair, to phones -- but gosh, this is the WORST attack ever!

Kate, my blockmate, noticed a while ago that i looked so haggard and it's because of these two really STRESSful things occupying my mind. For those who know me, these are two really BIG things for me, like priorities if that's how you call it.

I'm a computer nerd, I work all the time in my computer and having no printer is a major disability. My acne is another thing, it's been there since HIGHSCHOOL, after five dermatologists and a lot of money down the drain -- it is still like this. I've included it in my daily prayer by the way so for those who love me, please pray that my pimples will simply disappear.

If you got to this part, thank you. I've not been able to post anything sensible for a long time - well because i'm in that school -- haha, ironic.

Thank God i've managed to go past the first half. I'm so happy.:-)

August 05, 2005

Ang haba ng hair ko - vanity entry

Law school may get to be the hardest period of my life but it's where i heard the most consistent positive compliment about me ever. People there say i look four years younger! Haha! Gosh, i so love law school.

You see, i'm the younger of two children and everybody says that i look older than my sister. In high school, i was told i was 'mature' for my age. That's precisely the politically correct way of saying i look old.

I don't know at what point it improved or is it not an improvement at all?

For one, i may just look young because of having what teen-agers (bah that's way too exaggerated already) usually have - pimples. At my age, i still have this freaking hormonal imbalance that leaves my face looking dirty, all the time.

Another reason might be my mind - that i'm immature for my age, so the looks get carried away by my childish attitude. There's my height, my frame, my jologs type of blue, butterfly, teenage manner of clothing.

At first, i thought they were just being nice but now that several or many (haha!) have looked "real"ly surprised and sincere in saying that they thought all the while i was their age - i got the feeling, maybe i indeed look young for one negative reason or another. Hehe.

Life is good.:-)

July 29, 2005

Big bad day

Nothing lasts forever?

Some do, but not all.

I'm just sorry, this one didn't survive the hurdle.

July 22, 2005

Karmic points

We saved a guy's life!

A while ago, Gretch (my blockmate) and I just caught a man falling down in an escalator. We just came from Gateway to watch a tear jerker. We were going up to Aurora when the man in front of me just fell head first. I caught him by the shirt while Gretch held on to his pants. Apparently his sleeve got caught in the railing. He didn't get to say thank you though, probably out of embarassment.

Anyway, If Only was okay. I cried in two parts, but well, i cry a lot when watching movies anyway. I don't know, but i kinda related a lot to the topic but i don't wanna elaborate. Hehe.

There will be no classes on Monday so hurrah, i can study! Haha. Nerd! Nerd! Nerd! Sadly, i still don't get to read everything!

I don't know if it was Monday when i heard that my lolo's sister was claiming the land where our house is, well, not ours but my lolo and lola's house in Caba. One they've been there for more than 30 years. Two, my lolo's name is on the tax declaration. Three, it's only now, that this ogre writes my lolo, who can barely walk at 85, is ulyanin and all - that she is the rightful owner of it.

What's worse is she even mentions my dead father's name in the letter alleging some stuff that aren't true at all!

What heart does anyone have to write a man and ask him and his wife to leave their house, when, God forbid, it's almost their time. They're both 85.

I won't even touch on the validity of her claim as it is so idiotic and baseless. It is the thought that bothers me. Eighty five year old people being evicted from a place that they considered home for decades.

Why does it take her decades to assert this claim? Why not earlier, when they were still at least not that emotionally vulnerable? I just can't seem to get the logic. It is so so so harsh! Gosh, i was so angry.

Well, i just lift it all up to God. I won't even bother to lift a finger. I'm just saddened by the thought of how my lolo and lola could have felt when they received the letter. Gosh, why are some people just so harsh.

July 08, 2005

The mess that there is

Somebody just asked what my stand is on the recent Gloria-gate scandal. Honestly, i do not have a political stand. Is it because i don't read the papers anymore or is it because i've got no time to care?

What i think is that Filipinos are too emotional. When something like this happens, a lot of people unite and strongly pursue a good cause. However after a year, or even a few months, everything goes back to the same old routines. We hope to choose good leaders, but elections can be easily rigged. We hope for the best governance yet corruption is more a common thing than an exception. Well, there is an impeachment process - which can be manipulated anyway aside from wasting taxpayer's money on a long convoluted oratorical contest. Whether it be an impeachment or a resignation, i'm sorry to think that it is not a far fetched idea that sooner or later, we'll be at the same position again. All that's sure is that the economy, struggling as it were, is hopelessly flailing about and being shred to minute pieces yet again. Most people will kill just to get out of this country, well not literally of course.

So, what is my stand?

All i'm sure of is that i will pray for our country. I don't think it's hopeless, i don't think it's begging for a miracle. Our God is bigger than any of all country's problems combined. Our government is not in need of a major facelift. It needs a 180 degree turn.

July 02, 2005

What is wrong with me?

One, i can't live alone. I mean like in a bachelor's pad, by myself. I read somewhere that people who can't live without company are those who are insecure, can not be independent and need others to be happy.

It's just that i need to be with someone. During weekends, people in the dorm go home or party. That leaves me alone most of the time. I should be happy actually, as i will be able to READ without interruption. However, i end up being too lonely, i just sleep all the time. The first days i had here were sooo lonely. I even had to knock at the adjacent unit's door telling them, 'i'm homesick, can i stay with you guys for a while?' How lame is that? I don't have to repeat my favorite line nowadays, that i'm too old for these stuff.

I don't need to talk to anyone though. It's just that i need to see someone, breathing, walking, smiling, eating or even sleeping. If i'm alone i just feel freaked out. It's not that i'm afraid or anything, i just need to be with someone.

Two, i just can't do the same single thing for extended periods. I need to take breaks. Well, except for movies, or really hard to put down novels. Other than those, i have to stop, take a walk, clean, do something else, eat, text, whatever. I have this attention span that complains when exceeded. Another problem is that, i can't force myself. I just can't concentrate on one thing for so long a time.

Argh. Why do i suddenly have this gamut of problems about myself suddenly.

Anyway, here's a picture of my block.

July 01, 2005

Naiiyak ako!

Am i too old to be homesick?

I haven't gone home in three weeks and i feel miserable. It's just that there's toooo much to do in so little time. Sigh. Talk about pressure to finish things.

June 23, 2005

Let money rain from above

Now, that i don't look forward to the 15th and 30th of the month anymore, i am so hit by the fact that life is so hard, and it worsens everyday.

Fastfood chains still had 29.95 meals when i was in college; now, around 65 bucks buy me a cheap dinner. My nephew spends as much tuition for kinder 1 as a college student does. What will be the tuition of my first child in nursery, a hundred thousand?

I thought a hundred thousand will be a good enough budget for the simplest wedding i want, but by the time i get married, i think that won't even suffice for the flowers alone.

It's so disturbing. I saved my first thirteenth month pay in a time deposit. After a year, guess what it earned, less than 300 pesos! The disgusted girl withdrew it at once and bought a home entertainment system. At least now i've watched numerous dvd's with surround sound.

Doesn't it seem so impractical to save because inflation overtakes the savings rate by a thousand miles? At least you consume your money's worth now as you spend it. Your hundred bucks now may only be a able to buy a single fudgee bar before you realize it.

June 16, 2005

Clever Hi 5

You know how they want you to do registration, right. Just click next, next, next.

I should have known better than that! I just clicked and then Hi-5 sent an invitation to all the contacts in my Yahoo address book! I mean, it doesn't seem to be that a big deal but hello, my address book includes the Ateneo registrar's office, some companies i applied to before, busy friends who don't like spam, high profile people who'd rather not have such an email.

Grrr! NakakaHIYA!

June 09, 2005

What a life

I spend the whole night reading. I sleep at midnight and still, it's not enough. I pray that i'll soon learn and quickly adapt to this kind of lifestyle. A freshman's nightmare, and i think i'm too old for this!

At least, i don't get homesick that much anymore.

June 01, 2005

My new life

In the past two months, i quit my job, did nothing but go out and have fun for weeks, sold my dearly beloved PC for a new love interest, moved back to QC, gave up my Masterals and enrolled in a class where almost everyone is four years younger than i am.

I'm almost 25 and thinking about it, i now have second thoughts about these things. Did i make the right decisions?

Well, aside from worrying about where i will get money for my overused Globe line and my life insurance, i'm worrying about being left behind by all my friends. I'm supposed to be building a good career in IT and here i am starting from scratch, once again.

A lot of people had asked if i really wanted to study law or what made me. When people ask me why i'm wandering about during weekdays, they ask why i'm not at work and i say i already resigned. Why - because i'm going back to school come June. Nursing? No, some other course.

Why not try my luck abroad, where i can receive truckloads (coined from Roch) of money? Why not migrate? Why not work? Why not be an entrepreneur (which by the way, is what i really want)?

The things is, i really don't know why, but here i am at this place at this time.

May 25, 2005

Ano ba to?

Well, I can't access my blog.

I sold my computer so i can buy a new one but that new one is still non existent so i'm at a family friend's house accessing the net.

On Sunday, i'll be going to Manila and will stay there for the next couple of months. I'll be a student again, dependent on my mom for money. I hope i get a really nice no-pressure part time job so i can finance my little luxuries. The money i saved from work, i'll be putting aside to pay for my life insurance. After that, whatever will be, will be.

May 11, 2005

Lazy habits

So i wake up at eight, eat, read, watch tv or my fave dvds over and over again, take a bath, sleep, eat, take a bath, sleep, eat, read. Or read, sleep, eat, tv, bath, sleep. Routine, routine, but i'm still enjoying every second of it.

I'm quite anxious that May won't be enough to sate my lazy appetite because when June comes, i hope to be a responsible nerd. Hehe.

A friend asked me if i really wanted to be what i'm about to be and i said, yeah, 60%.

Man, i sacrificed a lot when i made that decision and i haven't really thought about it yet. Not just yet.

Later on, i know i'll be forced to sacrifice more. Hopefully, i'm on the right track. How would i know if i am? Life being a series of choices, makes it so complicated. Had i done this, what would it be like. Had i done that. Had i chosen this and that. Oh, the things we do and the choices we make.

Why can't i be back in kindergarten, when all i thought about was fun and games. Why can't i be like my nephew Rhyss, whose only concern is when to stop playing or when to stop watching Barney or Blues Clues?

A life so interesting. Meanwhile, i'll just surf, then eat, then sleep, then wake up and read again.

May 04, 2005

Stripped down to the basics

I spent another week again up there in the North. The land where stuff that i'm addicted to aren't present -- no internet, no blogs nor friendsters, no landlines, no malls, no fancy restaurants. The place is far from developed. While going to the mountain resort, the van even had to literally cross a river without a bridge and we had to take the air filter out before crossing it. Rough roads. At least there was Globe and/or Smart. There are always DVDs and sattelite TV but heck, i'd not trade looking at lush green mountains for such.

Despite the scorching heat, it was again quite another experience, though it's really not my first time.

You know those big ants whose bites hurt a lot - i know now what they taste like. I think they were fried. I can feel their legs in my tongue. There were quite a few eggs in that half a teaspoonfull. They tasted sour, sort of like adobong kangkong but a little blander.

Another thing is that the summer is often associated with the sea - beaches, sand, waves. However, swimming there associates more with rivers and falls. Rushing crystal clear water and stones beneath your bare feet. Picnics where you can just carve a sandok from a branch. Pick up firewood from anywhere around you for barbecue.

Isn't it that when you swim in say a pool, there's always a shower room where you go take a bath and change. There the shower room is the river itself. I was kind of hesitant at first to do the same but it was indeed logical. The water there is much cleaner than the NAWASA water coming out of our faucets. So i followed - after swimming to my heart's content, i shampooed and used soap and rinsed myself in the river. Quite funny, huh, you can even do laundry there!

You know, it's a privilege to still have some places where you get stripped down. Forget PS2, the food processor, the washing machine although the resort had all of those. People brought up in the cities deserve to have such experiences. I grew up contented in playing luksong tinik, tagu taguan and running around the house under a bright full moon. Nowadays, such experiences are becoming a luxury.

April 18, 2005

When Sunday is like any other

Grabe. Ang sarap pala ng walang trabaho. Apat na taon akong diretso na Pasko lang ang mahabang pahinga. Sinabay ko pa ang pag aaral ko tuwing Sabado.

Ang gaang isipin na pag hapon na ng Linggo e hindi mo na kinakailangang gumising nang maaga ulit kinabukasan. May oras akong maglinis ng bahay. May oras akong magtapon ng mga gamit ko sa kwarto na matagal nang nakaimbak lang. Pwede akong magFriendster at YM nang umaga.

Pwede akong magpadentist na hindi lunchtime. Naabutan ko na yung dermatologist ko. Nakaka punta ako ng Baguio at kung saan saan kung kailan ko gusto. Nakakapanood ako ng DVD sa umaga. Nakakapagluto ako sa kusina. Nakakatawag sa telepono na hindi alintanang sobrang aga pa lang o sobrang gabi na.

Grabe. Ang sarap.

April 11, 2005

I am back

Back from a well deserved vacation.

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Laid back, slow paced, peaceful and stress free - though it was kinda hot.

The routine was wake up - eat - sleep - snack - sleep - tv - eat - sleep - tv - snacks - eat - sleep. What a life! There was an activity here and there, like attending Seth's graduation, going to the nearby town to access the net then going to the only bar there, i suppose, afterwards and catching butterflies at the river side.

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I've been working in the province for four years and i could say that i've lived a pretty slow paced lifestyle except for the stress of software deadlines and variable situations -- but the recent week was really slow. No restaurants. Just a few grocery stores. No traffic jams. No time constraints. No work. No appointments. No phone calls, err, yeah, there were a few.

Just the beauty of families living a normal life, eating and doing things together. I loved it.

There are really trade offs when things change.

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When you want development, you sacrifice greens for tall buildings. You invite polluting cars when you want concrete roads. You give up time for family when you engage in business. You have less time for yourself when you want to earn money. You give up handwritten and scented letters for faster communication. Instead you get shortcuts in 160 character messages because they are cheap, convenient and fast.

It's nice to live a carefree live once in a while but these things don't last a long time unless you have a bank account that will support you for a life time.

March 25, 2005

Holy Week

Item #1: I have the Bella Flores voice. Hoarse as a frog's. I think i'm punished for singing my lungs out with The Corrs yesterday, being Maundy Thursday.

But hey, i'm not actually Catholic. Our faith is that the Holy Week is a time for remembering that Jesus died for our sins. Instead of being quiet and all, we instead sing praises and rejoice that God so loved us that He gave His Son for us, sinners. Okay, not that singing Radio is equivalent to singing praises.

Item #2: Then that afternoon, i went out with some high school friends. These are my high school chummies, Mon and Mars. We are all monays, aren't we? Relieving memories sure was fun. It's just sad that we don't get to see each other that often. However, when we get together everything's a blast. It added to the 'paos' voice because we had to shout over the restaurant/bar's music.

Item #3: However, i actually like my voice. I'm rattling about in the house all day and feeling my voice is quite sexy. Haha.

Item #4: And abrasive. Just a while ago, i blasted someone whom i thought was soooo narrow minded and made use of my oh so good to hear voice. Nyahaha. I also called Eric, who found it very irritating.

Item #5: This is not related to my voice but as always, i am so worried right now. I have a late paper to submit on Monday and have two final exams which i haven't read for ever. Since Tuesday i've never done anything. I promise i'll start on Saturday. Aaargh. Is there a cure to procrastination?

March 17, 2005

Why i eavesdrop

SM: three salesladies conversing

Girl 1: Oy, alam niyo
Girl 2: Bakit
Girl 1: Hindi naman sa pagmamayabang. Pero sa lahat ng naging boyfriend ko, basta naghihiwalay kami, ako ang dahilan. Third party.

Mart 1: mommy at the door of the fitting room

(We were lining up to fit.)
Mommy: Marami pa kaming damit na ififit...
(No response from queue)
Mommy: Magaling yan. First honor, K7. Talo lahat ng classmates niya.
Saleslady: Ah, kaya naman pala andami niyong binibiling damit.
(Britney hit plays in the background)
Mommy: Pati sayawan magaling yan.
Mommy: Ang talino.
Saleslady: Ma'am, isusukat niyo rin itong pink
Mommy: Oo ba. Ang init kasi, e sa closing, open air. Matalino kasi ito. Kaya kailangan umattend ng program.

Somewhere down the road

(Old lady gets off a tricycle.)
Old lady: Ito na iho, pasensiya ka na dito sa sampu. Fifteen thousand lang kasi ang bonus ko.
Trike driver: Okay na ho yang 10. Ang swerte niyo a. Ang laki ng bahay niyo.
Old lady: Dapat lang. Nasa States ang mga anak ko. Hindi ba kami makapagpapatayo ng bahay na ganito. Dapat lang.

Friends in a bus

Friend 1: Ewan ko nga sa itsura kong to, pero, sa totoo lang, andami ko nang lalakeng napaiyak.
Friend 2: Talaga
Friend 1: Oo, meron pa ngang mga kasal na tapos pupuntahan ako at iiyakan pa rin ako kung babastedin ko sila.

March 08, 2005

Time is what

Time is life's only equalizer. As such, you give the most time to the thing that you value the most. You can't just say you spend time for something that's of less worth than what you're actually doing that particular thing for, that you think is worth more. This is because once time is spent, it's lost forever. You cannot go back to justify any of it.

March 01, 2005

The trip that was

Some college friends and i took time out to visit our friend Gladys in Tagbilaran, Bohol and had a well deserved break from it all. We were "fortunate" enough not to be able to get promo tickets direct to Tagbilaran so we had a nice side trip to Cebu as well.

A lot of nice things happened and i could go on and on but these were some of the lessons i have learned in the four day vacation i had recently.

1. Casa Gorordo, Cebu City: They say that "to try hard, is the statement of a loser and to do it, is the statement of a winner." This statement does not always apply.

You see, sometimes, we really sacrifice and actually suffer to achieve something we don't have yet and in the end we decide anyway not to get it, even when we are there already.

Since, we were there amidst the heat of the Cebu sun, the hustle and bustle of people and cars and the business (busy not biz) of the city, we decided to postpone our ferry trip to Tagbilaran to late afternoon so we can explore Cebu a bit.

Armed with nil Cebuano literacy, a nice blue map of the city and a crash orientation on the jeepney system, which up to now I still don't really comprehend, we commuted together to see some of the tourist spots listed on the map.

One of these sites is Casa Gorordo. By that time, we were already tired from walking several blocks to and from Sto. Nino Church to the nearby Church, which was closed, by the way. We took another number coded jeep and either the driver or the other passengers mistook our questions and forced us to get down Gorordo Avenue and not the museum. In other words, we got lost. This is not new to me, eh. So we walked and walked on a frying pan until a friendly lady from a company i unfortunately cannot remember, invited us inside their air conditioned office to rest and wait for them to realize where we were going.

They let us take another jeepney and from the next stop we finally found our way to this quite obscure museum with near "being lost" instances here and there.

All sweaty and tired, we got inside the compound and found out there was a 40 peso entrance fee to look inside the two story house converted into a museum. After long walks and two jeepney rides, guess what, we decided not to go in, because of a 40 peso fee.

No, it's not that we didn't have money. Yeah, we saved 40 by not going in, but either it wasn't worth it to shell out 40 bucks to see it or we were too tired and just wanted to seat outside and get a whiff of the Cebu air while we keep still for a few minutes.

This brings me to my point. We walked far distances and got lost along the way but when we were finally there at the now famous among our group, Casa Gorordo, we didn't see it worth to do what we initially tried to do - after all the difficulty.

In real life, sometimes, we also do things and suffer and manage all the difficulty and in the end, take a pass on what we initially wanted to do. In the end, it is not the final goal that is important, but rather the long process that sticks into our mind.

2. History: Knowing where you came from will help you deal with where you are going.

Magellan's cross, the site of the Blood Compact. These places are marked with events that shaped our lives as we have it now. Yet, we don't really care that much.

I may be generalizing, but personally, what does Magellan's Cross or the Blood Compact mean to me? Yes, i know their contributions to what i am enjoying now as a Filipino but the heritage sites are mere places that i want as background for pictures i'll print for my photo album, to say i was there.

It was 2001 when i read and commented on an Inquirer article about foregoing subjects including history so that elementary education can concentrate on more important things like English and Math. However, i disagree very much that History is not an important matter. I recognize very well what a better person i could be had i mastered Philippine, Asian and World History way back. I could have better understood things that are happening around me. I could have appreciated more, what this so called democracy is worth and why there's reason to hope amidst all of what is happening.

3. Chocolate Hills and the Tarsier: Having a lot of good things at hand does not translate to a bright future.

The Philippines is so blessed with a lot of good things, not found anywhere in the world. Our tropical climate, our forests, our species, our agricultural products, our people. Why are we so left behind? If the whole of Mindanao can supply rice to the whole nation, why are we not producing what our fertile lands can potentially produce. Why are rich companies raking in huge profits while the expanse of our lands can not even produce enough for our people? Why?

We blame a lot on corruption, on mismanagement and yes, they are in fact real and causing this misery. However, it's not just the government that is to be blamed. The blame goes to the people as well, and equally the cause of all this misery. Most Filipinos don't have the discipline worthy of being blessed with good things. Peeing everywhere, throwing trash all around, quarrying two of the Chocolate Hills, i mean is this the kind of society that deserves a good life? I am not saying that everyone is guilty but hey, a very clean plaza after a late night public affair, will turn into a litter of empty chip packages and softdrink cans and barbeque sticks. That's a big reality we have to face.

4. Loboc River Cruise: The environment, in its 'naturalness' brings comfort and peace of mind.

Here, nature shouted and invited us in experiencing what it has to offer. All of us were set on not getting wet in this part of our trip but the raging waterfalls, the calm river, the fresh air and the calm greens around us sucked us into a moment of exhilirating peace and a well deserved pause in the stress of carrying out a well planned schedule.

I would have gotten wet under the flowing water but regretfully i cowered because i was afraid i will get cold. Yes, very lame but that's me. I hope someday, i can go back and do what i really wanted.

5. Friends: Friends are people you may have lost touch with but when you get back together, everything still falls back into place.

I am so happy and blessed to have friends i am so comfortable with. I am happy to have people around me who experience the same stuff that i go through, who think about silly thoughts like i do, who laugh at things i find funny, who know when something is a joke and when something is not.

Sometimes, i get to belong to a group who don't really get me as i want to be understood even if i deal with them very often. I talk to people who take offense at a slightest thing, even if you are completely ignorant it ever happened.

I never really thought about it but in this world, there are really people out there who you click with and you choose to click with. There are people who love you and understand you and are concerned about you. There are people who think on the same wavelength, whose interests are the same as yours.

The four day experience was great not because of the new things i saw and the new places i went to, although, they are major pluses, but because of the company i spent it with.

Archie, Bimbo, Gladys, Ian, Kitkit, Louddie, Jojo, Joyce and Myra, in alphabetical order, i hope we get to enjoy one such vacation again. Thank you.

6. Memory: Pictures are worth a thousand words. Memories are worth a million.

I excitedly documented the first three days with pictures and yeah, did i have great and artistic shots. Cebu, Heritage of Cebu, Magellan's cross, the Churches, the airport, Bohol, the site of the blood compact, the python in captivity, the Chocolate Hills, the water falls, the cruise, the tarsiers. Everything got lost when a Windows XP computer hang on me inside an internet cafe somewhere in Bohol.

Yes, all of it got lost in an instant and i am left with my usually faulty memory to document the whole trip. I am counting on Myra to upload all the files in her compact memory that starts with a DSC.

I was so so so so so devastated. It's like i was in cloud nine and pfft, everything was gone. That's just how i am and it's bad. I get to be miserable and not look at the bright side of things.

Anyway, taken altogether, it was indeed one hell of a trip. I loved it.

February 22, 2005

Self control

Do you ever have a problem with this? I do, well, in certain things. The biggest of which is on phone calls.

I am so desperately trying to save money and yet here i am, calling through my cellphone like there is no tomorrow. I can't even wait for myself to cool down before talking to someone. I'm that kind of person who wants to deal with it right then and there, when it is actually better to first think things over and talk when the situation is quite better, you know. Thus, i get to have 70 minute or so phone calls, which are by the way already a normal thing to me.

If my memory lapses are an effect, maybe i deserve such a punishment.

If only i can have my Globe account cut right now, but the contract does not end til December, and i hate this line because the free 3100 that went with it got lost before it turned a month old! At least now, i got myself a power piso TM to use for calling and i use my postpaid line for texting or for emergency calls. By the way, my emergency calls are just calls i make when i am too lazy to send text messages. I hope it works. So far, it is working. Six days and i'm happy.

In fairness, i'm very practical when it comes to other things. I don't splurge on clothes because many donors give me gifts. If i ever buy unplanned, it's gotta be a sale or an ukay ukay find. I really think it over when i buy stuff worth more than a thousand. As far as i can remember, i haven't had any regrets as to my previous purchases.

February 10, 2005

Feeling good

I was shocked last night. After a full meal, i tried my new conservative two piece swimsuit, fresh from the laundry. Oh my, have i grown fat, in the tummy, that is. I look three months on the family way.

A year earlier, i still had the guts to wear not so conservative but still conservative two piece swimsuits. I haven't been "swimming" for the past year. I say the word in quotation marks because Homer and friends might beg to defer.

Oh well, neither do i exercise, nor control my eating. I am a rectangular medium pillow nary a shape.

Sabi ko kay mama, 'e ano, may boyfriend naman na ko'. Asus. However, do girls try to look good just for guys? Absolutely not! Way not.

There's exercise. Although other or maybe most people do this to have a nice body, the benefits of exercise extend beyond that. It gets us in shape. It is good for the heart. It takes away stress. It improves our well being.

You know, i really believe that to be beautiful, it must come from within. I have a friend who is, lets just say, not handsome. However, he has a personality. He is happy and he has self confidence and when you see him, the look of his face wears off on the second minute. All you remember about him is that he is fun to be with. You'll never notice he is not handsome, if you get what i mean.

I think, the key to looking good is actually feeling good about yourself. That's when you can wear your smile and will be confident to wear whatever it is you feel like wearing.

***I edited this post because it got too controversial.:-)

February 07, 2005

High School Survey (pampaantok)

1. Name nung High school
* Trixie, inimbento ko

2: nasa top 10 ka ba?
* yeah

3: advisers:
* 1st: Ms. Fonbuena
2nd: Mrs Calicdan
3rd: Mrs Mabutas
4th: Mrs Estabillo

4: fave subject::
* mmm... Biology

5: fave teacher/s:
* marami e, Mrs Gacayan, Sir Uychoco, etc

6: fave event(s):
* Intrams at S...... ...., hehe

7: fave seatmate:
* si Mila

8: barkada:
* mon, mars, BUs, ix, halos lahat actually

9: ultimate crush:
* b (noon lang to ha)

10: clubs:
* Forum, club ba yon?

11: most embarrasing:
* Naka short shorts ako tapos nadulas ako sa gitna ng basketball court, in front of the whole COCC, CAT

12: greatest achievement:
* flirting haha! oh, i think meriting my first trip on a plane

13: highest grade:
* i don't remember

14: lowest grade nung HS:
* i have no idea, it shows, i didn't care that much about grades

15: fave tambayan:
* bahay nina reg

16: fave merienda:
* rice cake

17: most unforgettable moment:
* mmm... horror house? haha

18: greatest regret:
* not being able to cross the balance beam, hehe

19: ka-loveteam:
* si Richie Ticzon

20: bestfriend/s:
* mga barkada ko rin

21: fave expression:
* wala ata

22: were you punctual:
* no

23: did u recite in class:
* yeah

24: maporma?
* no, once a jologs, always a jologs

25: makulet?
* no

26: sipag mag-aral:
* mag cram

27: friendly:
* hindi ata

28: popular:
* ewan if i can call myself that

February 04, 2005


No, its not your PocketPC nor your Palm. It's ostentatious public display of affection. If only i can show it on video.

The scene i saw at the jeepney earlier was ridiculous. Imagine two people from the rear of the driver wanting to go to the rear of the jeepney (near the door). The jeepney had 5 passengers in all so there was a lot of room, you can picture it. The girl was holding on to the leg of the guy and resting on his shoulder. The guy, without standing up, slides towards the rear, the girl following suit almost instantly without ever letting go of the leg, still cuddled with her boyfriend, in the same position, resting on his shoulder. Comedy di ba.

I may not feel right by being irritated. I mean really, it's not of my business, but still i cringe inside.

I don't know if i'm just jealous, haha, or naive, but i'm not, or narrow minded, well probably. I hate seeing guys who get into this very uncomfortable position just to get hold of their girls' opposite waists. I mean, they'd probably develop a stiff neck from Maharlika to SM up Session road doing that.

I also hate seeing those who go to the movies to do other things than watch a freaking movie.

Basta, ayoko ng PDA. Pero sa kin okay lang. Hehe. Just kidding ma.

I'm talking here and i may be one of those people too, you know, so i cut this post short. Naisip ko lang. Malapit na ang ValenTIMEs e. Ngork.

January 30, 2005

Why do some people think like that?

Thank God my mom's thyroidectomy was successful last week. We are now praying that the biopsy will not show anything unusual. The results will be known on Thursday. Please pray with us once more. Thank you for those who showed concern and for those who prayed for her recovery.

Well, related to this, since i expected that we will be short of money, i asked an acquaintance to return the amount she borrowed last year. It took a lot of messages and explanations and until now, i've never gotten hold of any amount.

After not hearing from her for some time, one morning, she was saying something to the effect that she was collecting money for paying taxes and some bills and if possible, she'll give me my money next week. Add to it, i will be instrumental to paying her a sum in advance such that she can pay for the real taxes and large bills.

I was really stunned. Why would someone put taxes or bills over hospitalization expenses? I was really really pissed and of all people she would tell ME that. I really don't know what she was thinking or if it was plain lack of consideration or just plain tactlessness. I'm so clueless and pissed.

I mean why would someone let me worry about where to get money when in fact, i shouldn't be worrying about it in the first place because i gave her my savings. I mean, if she has no money, she can borrow from others or go to a pawnshop or whatever just because I am in need of money and she owes me.

After several exchanges, she told me she expected that my mom will be discharged from the hospital next week and so she may have thought she could pay the bills first but still it doesn't make sense to me.

If i am not stressed anymore, maybe i will understand the logic behind this or can somebody show me.

Sometimes, i think i just give when somebody says she or he is in need without mulling over the fact that someday, i will be the one in trouble.

My mom is like that, she is generous to a fault and when she's in need, the same people she's been generous to will never exert any effort to pay her back. Then she'll be the one worrying where to get the money.

When we were young, one of our relatives was constantly at the house asking to borrow money from my parents. Now that they are really rich, they've built a huge wall around their house to secure them from their neighbors whom they suspect of stealing from them. Guess what items are stolen - rubber slippers and dust cloths among other things and the nearest neighbors are US. What the hell.

It really is painstakingly difficult to understand the logic behind people's thoughts sometimes and i've become really bitter. That's why i'm praying really hard for me to be able to just let go of such bitterness and move on and regard these things as some silly stuff from the past. It's really hard, you know.

January 22, 2005

Happy day

I didn't go to school because the Midterms exam was postponed to next Saturday. Am i happy? Oh well, Finance and Production Management on the same day - wow wow wee. No open notes. Exciting!

I've also been looking at my past entries. I haven't really posted any worthwhile thoughts for some time now. Maybe i haven't had any. It's just that i haven't been reading lately. Well, except for time value of money equations, utilization and standard times and inventories. What insightful ideas can emerge from there? Oh, but on second thought, i'm really in search of a brilliant business idea, to support my ugh.. whatever's gonna happen next in my life. Hehe.

This will be my first 2005 entry with pictures.

Before: Oily faces at the Junior High Prom. Ew!

After: Lanie's daughter's baptism.

Now: Kalbo at bakal

Spot the difference.

January 20, 2005

Life is beautiful

Please pray with me.

My mom is to undergo a minor operation next week. Please pray for her and the doctor of course. There are some abnormal bulges at the lower part of either side of her throat and the doctor's gonna remove them.

These abnormal growths have been there for some time already. Good, that they're not cancerous or malignant. However, to be safe, it's better to remove them. Besides, they're quite unsightly.

I'm going to Bohol!

On a lighter note, at last, the ever unsuccessful plans are gonna happen. It was good the December plan didn't materialize; otherwise, we wouldn't have been able to take advantage of really good ticket prices at less than half the regular if i'm not mistaken.

Thus, i get to visit Tagbilaran and maybe have a short trip around Cebu. Yay! I've never been to a real vacation for some time now. I get to go around places but some business itinerary has got to be somewhere in between. Now it is purely leisure. I'm excited!


I've been a really not so diligent student since the start of this semester. I don't know it it's my work obligations or the thought that i'm not gonna finish the Masterals anyway because i'm planning something else.

I begin to read texts and they all seem new to me. Wow, i never thought these were discussed in class. What was i doing there? Maybe -- day dreaming and seating there waiting for dismissal. I feel bad, not that i am such a diligent, model student normally. It's just that, normally i'd listen so that when i review, i already have heard and understood concepts. In other words i really "re" "view" the concepts. Maybe i'm not so interested in the subjects. Maybe it's the Math. I don't know really.

Actually, i ought to be reviewing at this time yet here i am, chatting and emailing the night away. Sigh.

January 13, 2005


Yes, i am confused. I'm like at a point where i don't know where to go. It is really hard. I wanna do all sorts of things and i have a lot of choices and decisions to make.

It is like choosing a pack of chips among fifty or so choices but the chips don't give justice to what i am faced with. I've been like this for a year or maybe more than that. At times, i feel like i've planned my life up to the littlest detail and at times i feel like all i do is plan and nothing comes to fruition because when i am about to take a choice i'd have second thoughts and out comes five more choices.

It is getting crazy!

The only thing that is making me sane is the thought that at least, as a person, i can choose what i want or what i love. Other people are simply just faced with nothing but what and where they are positioned at the moment.

I think i have to reread Purpose Driven Life.

January 10, 2005

Nervous breakdown

Balance From Previous Bill 4360.41

Current Charges

Total Fixed Charges 1090.91
Total Voice Call Charges 2326.41
Total Text Messaging Maintenance Fee 198.24
Total GPRS Charges 9.05
Total Prepaid Loading Services 50.91

Current Charges Before Taxes 3675.52
VAT 362.55
Total Current Charges 4038.07

Total Amount Due in Pesos 4098.48


January 05, 2005

Happy Happy Four Years!

I am happy!

I am cramming!

So, i'll take this survey. Kutob mo, grabeng labo.

1. 1st time you tried smoking: n/a
2. 1st alcoholic drink you had: gin, haha! then mule.
3. 1st time you entered a bar: maybe first year college, Gimbal's
4. 1st award you received: beats me.
5. 1st hero: Yellow Four! If we are of the same the generation, you know what i'm talking about.
6. 1st time you were sent to the principal for discilinary actions: i'm a good girl
7. 1st time you failed in school: i failed an exam in 2nd year college, i don't remember which subject though.
8. 1st college entrance exam you took: UPCAT
9. 1st teacher in college: i don't remember, i have bad memory.
10. 1st job: technically, web page developer, in college, pro bono
11. 1st crush in college: some cute Chinoy
12. 1st person na binigyan mo ng flowers? my mom
13. 1st date: the real date? literally, Esteban Abada St.
14. 1st friend: i also don't know, what a kindred spirit
15. 1st kiss: my fiance, talaga lang ha.
16. 1st movie you watched with a friend: what else, i don't remember
17. 1st fight with a friend: maybe Grade Four
18. 1st gift you received from a friend: hankies
19. 1st gift you gave to a friend: stationeries
20. 1st record you bought: Whitney Houston
21. 1st song you sang infront of many people: One Moment In Time
22. 1st musical instrument you learned to play: ukelele
23. 1st concert you watched: can't remember: Rivermaya, i think
24. 1st celebrity you saw in person: alvin patrimonio!
25. 1st TV show you really liked: Batibot perhaps
26. 1st book you bought: a Nancy Drew
28. 1st sport you played: our Grade School football
29. 1st sleepover: during high school
30. 1st terrible fight: mmm, very young, with my sis
31. 1st prank: playing tricks on my sis
32. 1st inaanak: cindy's janryl
33. 1st debut party you attended: sino na ba?
34. 1st time you spent the night alone? my first night at the dorm, first year college
35. 1st bestfriend: some imaginary friend, Lala, from an imaginary place, L Land, haha!
36. 1st wedding you attended: i can't remember. Why do i go on with this, if i don't remember almost everything!
37. 1st person who greeted you on your last birthday: Di ko rin alam! Waah!
38. 1st friend in friendster? Roch ata
39. 1st time you got lost: i get lost all the time so beats me again
40. 1st cellphone: Motorola na parang plantsa
41. 1st cellphone ringtone: kring!
42. 1st collection: stationeries
43. 1st time you felt proud of yourself: when i won a singing contest at 6, haha! That i remember
44. 1st time you saw a ghost: 3rd year highschool
45. 1st rollercoaster ride: DreamWorld, Killer Loop
46. 1st school you attended: playschool
47. 1st friend you had when you entered: i don't remember a single classmate
48. 1st ambition: to be a lawyer

January 02, 2005

Happy New Year!

Everything is a blur. I've been going out and eating a lot for the past two weeks. I had lots and lots of fun. I've been very busy socializing. I got to see some friends and relatives i don't see quite often.

The highlights: Oasis Steak buffet night, Kahlua, Japanese food, Kuya's Bar, Baguio City!, Christmas with my family, Kahlua, brandy and wine with kins, driving around, visiting friends, FRIENDS marathon, VIDEOKE and Magic Sing!, news about friends, my concerts at the house, movie marathons, Porterhouse Steak, the Da Vinci Code (read it the whole morning of December 25th), visitors!, text messages, endless!, oh i forgot to mention the gifts.

Now, i need to cram all the school stuff that i've never touched during the period.

In my excitement, i almost have not taken any pictures.