November 29, 2004

Sighs on a holiday

One: My Vanity

First, I don't get to enjoy any of my meals.

Second, it hurts!

Third, it is so freaking uncomfortable.

Fourth, the agony lasts for at least one year.

Fifth, my upper lip is like double its already big size originally.

Oh, it hurts!

Two: My Manana Habit

Yesterday, Sunday, i went through something unprepared. I prayed before taking it and perhaps i did okay - not so good and not so bad. However, i'm still guilty over the feeling that i could've done better. Sigh. I really don't know.

Three: My Financial Status

I am so bankrupt. Tomorrow is payday but after i pay this and that, there will be nothing. I just realized that i loaned a greater part of my savings to several people. This is why i have no 'real' savings account to speak of. It's good in a way because i still have savings and i don't get to spend it impulsively. It's bad because yeah, it's my money but it's not with me. Talk about cash flow problems and liquidity. Having no money in your wallet is depressing, isn't it?

Four: My Faraway Friends

I miss my friends. I miss talking about our silly lives and being honest without any chance of offending anyone. I miss talking about great buys and great places. I miss our very long animated chats. I miss telling stories without an occasional thought on per minute charges on my monthly billing statement. I miss meeting for projects and end up meeting for fun. I miss having crushes with them on the same people. I miss checking out girls with guy friends. I miss going out just to eat. I miss eating out. I miss complaining about the smoke in bars. I miss trying cocktails. I miss watching great bands. I miss just driving around and making fun of each other during traffic jams. Boo. Its nostalgia time.

Five: My Pimples

Sometimes they're all over my forehead. At times they're all over my jaw. They get tired and they go up again then down then up. Ugh! I'm way past teenage years and they're still there. A lot of people are suggesting taking pills, yes, birth control pills, but i don't want to. It's just really weird. I'll take them after i get married. It just doesn't look good and of course, my 'conservative' family will freak out and they won't understand.

I hope the next time i blog, it would be five happy stuff and not complaints.

If it's any consolation, life is a challenge and it isn't a life without the challenge. I got that yesterday. :-)

November 24, 2004

Today's thoughts

Some kind of change...

I've really been thinking about it since college freshman year. Now i can afford it and seasonally, i think about its pros and cons. Yesterday, i just decided to go ahead with it.

Tomorrow or maybe a few days later, you'll see.

It will still be me but kinda different.

Surprise surprise! I'm excited and anxious. I've been thinking about it all night. Of course i told the most important people in my life except Rhys and my grandparents, who will not understand unless they see it - literally and/or figuratively.

Oh my. I hope he does it right.

Nokia comparison

On the side, which one is better, a 7610 or a 6600? Okay, it's not me. I will not buy an expensive phone after losing my old phone to an inconsiderate being. I dare not include human. I wanna help my friend think about it.

My Christmas Wish list

I've been watching a lot of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. lately. I just love the series. I can watch the episodes thrice and still manage to get a good hearty laugh. I have a checklist of all the episodes and my DVD collection won't even amount to a half.

So, its number one in my "wish" list for Christmas: (Wink. Wink.)

1. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. DVDs but the gift giver must at least consult me on which seasons or episodes i already have.

2. Sex and the City DVDs and the instruction on the first number applies.

3. Butterfly accessories. Necklace, Earrings, Rings, Bracelets, Bags, Brooches, whatever. I still DREAM of the set i saw in this boutique at UB square. It's just perfect but too expensive for what it's worth.

4. Butterfly clothes.

5. Books - Da Vinci code, Da Vinci decoded, the story of Singapore's economic recovery under Lee Kuan Yew ba yon?, the latest book of Sidney Sheldon, The Notebook, Recipe books

6. An engagement ring. Haha! Dream on!

7. A car, kahit second hand lang. Yoo hoo. Mama? :-)

8. A laptop, Mama Ulit? :-)

9. A 256 MB USB flash drive

10. A portable DVD player and a small TV in my room. Mama na naman? :-)

Everybody is entitled to wish, right?

November 22, 2004

Kelan ako magkakaanak?

I am in love.

I am in love with Milience and Dos.

I went to Baguio last Saturday to attend the party of these two babies. Dos was just baptized while Milience was celebrating her second birthday. Amidst the threat of menigococcemia, i'm not even sure if i'm spelling this right, my brown skirt and boots outfit and my ignorance regarding Baguio's streets, i went to their party to see my inaanak, Milience, whom i haven't seen since her baptism.

The first is a picture of myself as a mama wannabe.

The girl is my inaanak, Zyre Milience Ami - Aspiras. The daughter of Lanie. Wondering about the name, you ask the parents. The priest said during her baptism to blame them when she gets tired and hard up writing her name in the future. She's so pretty!

The boy is Dos, Emil Glenn, his brother. He is so handsome! I carried him and i got so kilig!

November 18, 2004

Daily observations

1. Children now go to school at such a young age. I sat across a middle aged woman and her child this morning. The girl's hair was still thin, you can see her scalp. Kalbo pa and she had a bag like some grade school student and was already going to school. My nephew is three and still couldn't talk straight when he started going to preschool.

Well, is it because there's so much to learn already or is it because parents just send their kids to school because nobody will be left at home to take care of them?

2. I've been reading articles regarding the fiscal deficit and oh my -- i know the Philippines is in bad shape. However, reading through these 30 page articles, the Philippines IS and IS REALLY in bad shape. Imagine, by 2009 we can't even pay a cent of our 3 plus TRILLION debt and i can say we will be hard up in paying even interest payments alone.

Golly, if this crisis ensues and foreign creditors won't allow us to borrow anymore, how the hell will our country survive? Every year we need to borrow because the country's earnings can't support the government's operations. Every year, these debt will compound to bigger amounts and interest rates will be higher. Bleak. Very bleak.

Some people just blame it on Arroyo alone, or Estrada, or corruption, or government corporations like NAPOCOR and GSIS (which can not survive on their own), or even taxpayers who are not paying enough. (Let me just mention that it is the salaried employees who give the most taxes and business people just get richer and richer and paying the least possible taxes they can pay.)

This problem dates back to the Marcos administration, where all sorts of ostentatious projects were started and we had to incur lots and lots of foreign debt. Then came Aquino and Ramos who also had to incur debt because of deficits or the financial crisis and in whose administrations, many tax leaks had to be done to spur economic growth. Yet, the economy did not grow as expected. Estrada and Arroyo inherited these debt and tax system irregularities.

Taxpayers are not paying taxes because they actually don't see where their money goes. Well, it goes to debt payments, local projects, national projects and the like. The money also goes to corrupt people.

What i'm trying to say is, everybody is to blame, well in varying degrees. This means everybody is to share in whatever measures there are to avoid a full blown crisis. Government has to tighten its belt. Taxpayers need to pay taxes. Corruption must be curtailed. Corporations must manage themselves and not just rely on the national government.

But it almost seems hopeless, really...

November 11, 2004

Is it over?


November 08, 2004


The Rules:
1. Write something about 15 different people.
2. You can NOT say who they are.
3. If someone asks you which one is about them, you can NOT tell.

Interesting. I found this in
Russel's journal.

1. We don't complete each other. We don't complement each other. We hate each other's attitude. It's such a rough road, sometimes everything seems to have gone haywire but in the end i'm still here and you're still there. We're best of friends and we love each other unconditionally and that's all that matters. Thank you for everything.

2. Before, we were best of friends. At times, i don't admit it but i just expect that everything is exactly as it was before. I guess at a point in our lives, changes occur and no matter how ideal and nice it may sound for things to stay as they are, we just opt otherwise whether we may mean it or not. I love you just as much and as much as you love me anyway.

3. We really click but then, growing up things have become different. We cannot be happy go lucky forever. When we see each other though, nothing seems to have ever changed. I enjoy every time we spend together whether it's just a short phone conversation. I guess we're meant to be friends forever.

4. I really am awed by your strength. You don't deserve having those simultaneous life blows but everything happens for a reason. God bless.

5. I miss you so much. I really do. I am doing things now because i know it will make you happy. Yes, i know that i don't really owe it to give things back to you but i'm choosing to do it because i love you and i want to.

6. I don't really know what to tell you at times. You have things going for you and you deserve it. I cannot really influence your decisions that much but i am really praying for you.

7. Maybe you don't really know that you have the biggest influence in my life. I'm so thankful that i have come to know such really great people once in my life. I'm trying my best for those words not to come out empty out of my life. I miss you.

8. I am not really that consistent but you know i love you very much and saying 'i can give my life for you' at times can be taken for granted and honestly i cannot say that to a lot of people but for one person, i'd do it, and you deserve to be in that place.

9. You just make me really happy and i love you for that. Someday, i'll have someone like you in my life. I hope so.

10. Thank you for giving me so many opportunities. You have not been perfect but i owe you a lot.

11. Yes, i am ignoring your narrow childishness. It's not just worth my time. I prefer to be happy.

12. You were my biggest crush and i don't think you can even recognize it. I hope now you've achieved the kind of self confidence that you deserve to have.

13. I am sorry if i was unbecoming at certain or at a number of times but honestly i appreciate your loyalty, if you can call it that.

14. I believe in you. Go for it and have fun.

15. I see so much cruelty and antisocialdom in you. A number of times, it has influenced my life to depend on unreasonable motivations. I am trying hard to overcome the hurt, the inconsiderateness and the ungratefulness that you have shown us. I hope i am totally devoid of bitterness now. I want to forgive and i know i can do it. I don't deserve to be affected by you and the rest of your family.

November 03, 2004

Lost and found in the wilderness

Well, these two gals got lost somewhere in Cubao.

Lost #1

Let me sidetrack a little and mention that i had quite some luck already that same morning. The moment i arrived in Quezon City last Saturday, i took the printed instructions of Joyce, and followed it to get me to the LRT station (which Roch describes as a place that seems not to be in this country). First, from the Partas station, i took a trike to the MRT (not to ride but to cross EDSA) then went down to Farmer's then to that memorable street in between Chowking and Jollibee. I love you Sabado, grr!

The sight of the two fastfood joints made me realize i needed to have some breakfast. I chose to have the latter's pancake meal. Well, the person at the counter offered me a peach mango pocket pie to get a free Philippine Star, so i grabbed it. It was a very good deal by the way until what happened to me later.

You see, i ordered hot chocolate with the meal. I never do! I only drink coffee or some cold juice with fastfood breakfast meals. When i had finished the pancakes and the pie, i was still reading the opinion page. Now, the usual clumsy me just tipped the plastic cup down and the murky mudlike hot chocolate spilled unto my pants, to my bag and to the edges of my pristine white shirt!

So i was there, and to my dismay it's like the other people never noticed. That meant, nobody helped among all the Jollibee crew! So i had to get up, all brown and dirty and asked the person at the counter for tissue. I was shocked but i was perfectly calm. I didn't even realize if the spilled drink was still hot because i was just feeling too embarassed. I am really clumsy and things like this have happened before. The security guard finally noticed and offered a small wet towel. I was really grateful. I didn't catch his name though.

Thus, i went to the rest room. I painstakingly rubbed clean my pants with the wet towel. I changed my shirt. It's good i brought an extra. I was all wet. I attempted to dry myself with the hand drier to no avail. Finally i just wrapped my jacket around my waist and went out. Nobody even gave me a second glance or it was a result of my wishful thinking.

Lost #2

Later that night, i had to go home. I went with Myra from the Santolan LRT station, where our friends left us, wondering if we'll ever make it to Cubao. During the ride to Santolan, all sorts of instructions care of Archie! were given out and by the time we were in Cubao, everything was a blur. The LRT was really nice by the way.

The instruction was for us not to cross Aurora boulevard but to go through the new mall. Another instruction was to just follow the other people. The mall area was closed but we walked through an air conditioned place which was part of the instruction.

We got down to the street level and found ourselves in the dungy street of Aurora and we knew we were at the wrong place. We were never to cross Aurora! But the mall area was closed, and we were stuck there and we crossed! That's where all the people were going. So we were able to cross alive and off we went... off we went... The side streets were getting darker and we were like walking forever and that street between Jollibee and Chowking never appeared.

And the syanas realized it! It was because we were going back to where we came from, we were going towards Katipunan on the other side of the street! We were walking away from EDSA at a street opposite Araneta Center! Golly! We realized our having no sense of direction. We went back, almost got hit by a jeepney. We walked again and again and again finally the streets were brighter. We made it to Farmers and we learned our lesson not to listen to Archie again. Haha! Kidding!

Found #1

I ate brunch with my college blockmates, Roch, Olai and Lorena at Manang's! Mahal na siya. A 12oz coke, a cup of rice and one order of inihaw costs 52 pesos already but it was still really good, I love the inihaw na sinawsaw sa suka at soy. The place has been improved and now you also have to clear your own table. I also learned that you can't pass through Katipunan at Gate 3 to Ateneo anymore. You have to walk through the overpass at Gate 2 1/2. McDo has improved a lot. It looked so slick and sosyal. They even had a person walking around with a push cart to offer water. Parang airplane! I forgot to take pictures!

It was nice seeing them again. It brings back memories of the hellish and at the same time happy days we had as MIS students. Until next year.:-)

Found #2

Afternoon was spent at Joyce's birthday party. I finally saw Julianne. Anlaki na niya! Inggit ako. Hehe. Then there was Jaypee, Ian, Bimbo, April, Kuya Aldrin and Kuya Romy. Ang aming once a year or once in two years na pagkikita. Hopefully, by next year, i'll be around already.